The Best Part of Holiday Shopping

I'm finally finished!! Okay... so that's a lie... there are still two gifts left to buy but their gift cards so that doesn't count!!

Other perks... (gotta keep it kinda on the downlow so the Queen doesn't know what she's getting)

• Over $200 off jewelry at Zales
• 50 pk Old Western DVD's for Dad $13 (Pamida)
• Sew Machine for me $49 (Walmart)
• Food Saver for Prince Charming $48 (Kmart)
• Two mini pizza stones for P.C. $13 (Pamida)
• Disney Toddler bed for Ogre Child $48 (Kmart)
• 70% off fleece sleepers for O.C. (Target)
• Digital Camera for nephew $15 (Target)
• 90% off Photo Paper for nephews(Staples)
• Dehydrator for BIL $30 (Pamida)
• Serving dishes for SIL $8 (Kmart)
• Spa bath set for boss $7 (Walmart - Dec 26, 2007)

I only had to pay full price for 4 gifts!! And even then two of those were only because I had no idea what to get and I'm tired of shopping. So I copped out and bought the preboxed gift sets for $20. The other two were toys for a niece and nephew. I might have payed full price for the O.C's potty chair but at $17 for a chair that will grow with her... I can't complain.

In the end, I'm just fed up with shopping. I even gave up on my fave SIL and got her a gift card to go with some small things she'd picked out.

A frame for a picture, a Border's gift card, and a gift card to a restaurant and we're finished.

Even with the saving up and careful shopping, I always feel like I've spent too much by the time it's over. And then, I think to myself... I DON'T EVEN CARE! Even if it makes money a bit tight... I'm okay with it. Because I'm not big on keeping up with the birthdays/anniversaries/other special occasions in the lives of those I love. So I figure that once a year, I'm entitled to splurge on those I love to see them happy!

And I don't care one bit what I get in return. (Though I did treat myself as you all know... but I deserve it).

What I care about is...

• my parents will be here for Christmas morning (their first with OC).
• My SIL loves my daughter as if she were her own and spoils her almost as much as the Queen.
• I have 3 nephews who are the sweetest boys in the world.
• My baby sis remembers us even though we only talk about twice a year.
• I only have to drive 30 miles this Christmas (WOOHOO!!)
• Though "budget cuts" have reduced the size of my family, the amount of LOVE in my family has tripled!! **
• Did I mention I spoiled myself at Zales? hehe

There's one more week of hecticness left in the "Workshop" and while the boss is playing hooky/sobering up... it's going to be a MESS!! The weatherman has predicted Reindeer poop by the foot!! So while I'm trying to keep over-excited, unfocused, and down-right lippy adolescent elves focused on their studies so they can grow up to be halfway decent, well-rounded, humans with High School diplomas... I hope the rest of you find some time to relax and escape the hustle and bustle of the Shopping Frenzy!

This holiday season I wish you the following...

• Family and friends who matter deeply to you
• Hearts filled with love and caring
• Thankfulness for the things you are able to give as well as for what you recieve
• A heartfelt wish that you have the food, shelter, and loving company that we all so desperately need
• (and maybe something sparkly and pretty under the tree on Christmas morning)

Happy Holidays!!!

** Footnote: In case you aren't "in the loop", I assure you that the "Budget Cuts" have nothing to do with money... we'll chalk it up to "conflict of interest"... I'm interested in raising a well rounded, semi-sane child who is not confused about her moral issues... THEY have seriously deranged morals and hurt their own family members at the first sign of a dispute. My editors tell me we just don't need that kind of drama in this FairyTale production. So we cut a few cast members and the whole scene runs much more smoothly :)

Read more ...

I've been kidnapped!!

Shh... don't be so loud!! Do you know how hard it is to steal a laptop from Santa's workshop? No... of course you don't... you also don't know what it's like to be force-fed fruit cakes and have Christmas tree ornaments removed from horrible places!

OH THE HUMANITY!!

Here in Santa's workshop, the elves have gone crazy!! I got this stupid toy-painting-elf drunk on egg nog so I could sneak away for a minute. Might wanna have those Christmas toys tested for lead paint... he kinda looks like he might be Chinese!! But seriously... with all the toys Santa has to deliver, it's no surprise he seeks out cheap labor!!

A little secret... Santa has all the "underground" criminals in his back pocket. Seriously... the Columbians are helping him sneak the toys across borders unsuspected, Italian big wigs are keeping him out of the IRS's radar, and I'll just let you guess who taught him how to get in and out of all of our homes undetected.

Anyway... so not the point. Between decorating the North Pole for the BIG DAY and 10,000 trips to town to pick up AA batteries, I'm beat. Not to mention the reindeer stables!! Trust me... if you're on the naughty list... that isn't COAL in your stocking!!

So I'm hoping things will simmer down around here soon so I can get back to my warm, cozy palace. God only knows how many more times I'll be able to dodge the horny elf that's running around with the mistletoe (SICK BASTARD ANYWAY!!)

But I'm dropping a quick note to let you all know that I do love you and miss you and if you find me under your Christmas tree with a tranquilizer dart in my ass will you please call the Queen and let her know when you'll be able to FedEx me home!! Read more ...

Pssst... I was NAUGHTY!

I can't really get into a lot of details... but lets just say that I have inside information via Santa.

Why? Because I performed "special favors".

You don't want the details.

But I peeked in Santa's bag...

<-----

...and this is what I saw.

<-----

...I'm not really sure it was for me.

<-----

...but I snagged it!

<-----

...now all I want from P.C. for Christmas...

<-----

...is money!

*psst*... I love Zales!

Read more ...

OMG!! I've been MIA!!

so busy... so busy!!

WHERE IS THE ANTIDOTE?!?!?!

Between shopping and a movie date and decorating (my favorite part) I've been sooooo busy!

THERE'S A GUARD.... I'LL SNAP HIS NECK!!

Anyway... I thought I'd give you a heads up on holdiay shopping errors!!

I got 4 new tires put on the chariot Friday. Thank you Sears for a decent deal on tires and a $60 door buster gift card. $450 isn't too bad for 4 tires w/ 75000 mile warranty + Road Hazard Guard + an alignment.

HOWEVER... "ARE YOU HUNGRY?... STARVING!!!"

My advice to you if you're going to take advantage of these holiday auto deals is to get an estimate before hand. Why? If I hadn't reseved my tires on Wednesday, I wouldn't have known they were trying to overcharge me.

Prices on Wednesday...
tires 87.99 each
valve stems 2.99 each
Road Hazard Guard 7.60 per tire

Prices at checkout on Friday...
tires 87.99 each (BUT THEY ARE ON SALE FRIDAY ONLY!)
valve stems 3.99 each (INTERSTING!)
RHG 9.20 each (EVEN MORE INTERSTING!)

After all the prices were corrected per my complaint and proof on my original estimate...
They tried to overcharge me $50 and change... totally explains why they were giving out $60 gift cards.

I'd like to say it was just a computer glitch... but it's just too convienent for me to accept that. And how many people just pay their bill without thinking about the charges? Oh yes... I guarantee Sears pulled the wool over a few people's eyes on Friday!

So please be careful this holiday season.

Am I mad? Not at all... they fixed the error with no complaints (thought it was a bit time consuming... and even though a difference in pricing by tire size made the tires about $100 more than I expected... it's still a decent deal. I'm not mad. They didn't finish my car in the time they said so I get $5 off my next Sears purchase... even though I had no idea if my car was done on time because I didn't return for pickup for 4 hours.

I still love Sears!!

But seriously... watch your prices... and if you know something big is coming on sale... make sure you're not getting ripped off.

HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK!!

HERE'S WHAT WE'LL DO... WE'LL PUT A PIN IN THAT AND STICK IT RIGHT HERE!! Read more ...

Tuesday Tantrums

• I had to go grocery shopping again last night for the 24 hour notice I'd been given on potatoes
• My daughter was still awake when I woke up to go to work.
• We made 2 large bowls of potatoes at 7 AM
• We ran out of butter in the middle of it
• It was freezing cold so I had to wait for the car to warm up
• When I reached the gas station I found out I had a flat tire
• Returned home, finished potatoes, started 'other' car
• Spent 30 or so minutes warming potatoes back up
• Have done nothing else since... except founder on Thanksgiving Dinner :)

And more on the bright side...

• I did not slave over a stove (though the microwave may have given me cancer!)
• I did not wash dishes... I enlisted teenagers to do that chore
• I did get plenty of food
• I will take a plate home to Prince Charming who will also get plenty of food
• I gave all my students study halls to play games and watch movies... because it's a holiday... the last day... and well... I'm just cool like that!!

HAVE A WONDERFUL... HAPPY... TURKEY-BLOATED-COMA-ENDUCING-YUMMY WEEKEND!!

Read more ...

Holiday Survey

ooh... I love holidays... I'm not sure I can wait until Friday to put up the tree. I keep telling myself that I have a toddler in the house and it will just be better to wait and put it up as Traditional. The idea of yelling at the Ogre Child to not eat the tree is enough to delay the tree til Christmas Eve. She wouldn't mind... right?

So... just for J... I'll participate in the Holiday meme in the hopes that I can keep my rabid holiday spirit at bay for a few more days.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Either... or say... trash bags... dish towels... and in an emergency... walmart bags!
2. Real tree or Fake? Fake... while I truely do appreciate the live Christmas trees I grew up decorating... I must say that they would not look nearly as pretty if I wrapped them in plastic wrap through the holidays. Scratching your head? Well, I'm a barefoot person... I'm also half-nudist and a floor-sitter... while you may believe nothing is as painful as a cedar needle in your foot, I assure you there are much more painful things.
3. When do you put up the tree? While I'd love nothing more than to pop that baby up the week before Halloween... I have this OCD affliction that insist one holiday must pass before you can begin decorating for the next. Therefore... my tree will go up on Friday... after the doorbuster sales have been tackled!
4. When do you take the tree down? January 2nd after I sober up!
5. Do you like eggnog? Never had it
6. Favorite Christmas dinner drink? The Queen's iced-tea... don't ask me why... but no one makes a glass of tea like her.
7. Hardest person to buy for? Hands down... Dad
8. Easiest person to buy for? Hands down... ME... oh wait... MOM!!
9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes... I inheritted it from an evil Gorgon. I didn't burn it because I have great childhood memories attached to it. And though I'm not into that religious stuff... I still put it up every year.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Are you serious? Mail... well... at least I buy them... they don't always make it to the mailbox.
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I don't look at Christmas that way... I take it back... I got a baby doll from DNA Provider's mother... when I was 14!! Needless to say, she fell victim to my Goth Fad a few years later... now I think she's pretty cool and I put her out at Halloween!!
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Carol... with Polar Express coming in pretty close
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? December 26th... This is the first year that I'll still be shopping December 1st (unless I get super lucky Friday morning)
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Not that I recall... but I have recycled Christmas wrapping paper.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Homemade noodles
16. Lights on the tree? tons... colored.
17. Favorite Christmas song? I Want a Hippopotomus for Christmas... I'm Gettin' Nuffin' For Christmas... and Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer!!
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? It depends on the year and who we're having Christmas with. We have Christmas at our home either Christmas Day or the 26th.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph.... And Randolph the Roo-Tootin' Reindeer!!
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? A star or a bow!
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Some Christmas Eve... Other's Christmas Day... some on various other days depending on how many Christmas's we have to attend.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The bell ringers... no... worse than that is greedy, unappreciative children.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Red... but all our 'family ornaments' get placed in with the theme regardless of whether they fit.
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Goose... but I'll settle for ham.
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Everyone else to be happy with their gifts. I don't want for much... though TV, Computer, DVR Recorder, and Sewing Machine are all on my 'down the road' list.
26. Favorite thing about Christmas? My parent's visiting
27. Favorite gift received as a child? so many great gifts... a puppy... rice candy from Hawaii every year... chaps & spurs... my senior ring... my charm bracelets... a million other things that my Mom got me even when we didn't have much.
28. Favorite Christmas decoration in your house? The Christmas ornaments from my childhood.
29. Best store to shop for Christmas gifts? Even though I'm a WalMart girl... last year I got some of the best deals on sale at K-Mart... which is a real shocker considering their usually way more expensive than other places. But I got oversized throws for $5, a King Size comforter for $10, wine glasses BOGO, and $10 off a Wii game.
30. Black Friday shopping...yes or no? Definately... Nothing is more fun than standing in line outside a store in the freezing cold at the butt-ass-crack-of-dawn

Read more ...

Saturday Suggestion (Part 3)

Ok... here's you assignments for this week:

• Chris - hmmm... this one's hard this week. I think she should write a post about what it's like to have a cyber family (sister, niece, etc.)... lol... is it cool? creepy? normal compared to her real life family? I'm curious... I've considered adopting cyber family members. I'm also considering the possiblility that the DNA Provider may have spawned cyber-children. Now there's a thought for you... anyway... I'm waiting for Chris's response on this before I confess to my cyber-friends that I think they may have been the result of Cyber-Conception!!
• F*W - dang... bloggies are making it hard on me. Since she's confessed her love for "The Last Unicorn" which just so happens to have been one of my favorites as well. I think I'll call on her for a great childhood memory. Funny, sweet, exciting... doesn't matter. Just take a moment to step back in time. What were all your favorites? What's changed most? Whatever suits your fancy!
• J... - ooh... Holiday blogging already? Okay... I'm game (frothing at the mouth for Christmas decorating, but restraining myself for tradition reasons). But I'll endulge in the spirit and ask... Do you have any unusual traditions at the holidays? If so tell us about them... but keep in mind if it's a super cool idea we've never thought of we just might steal it for our own family!! And just in case that doesn't work for you I'll give you an alternate... Christmas Tree Mishaps. Seriously... anyone who hunts for live trees has to have had one of those "uh oh" moments.
• Kelly Dawn - After reading her kids-say-the-darndest-things post, I think she could give us all some advice on how to deal with evil mother-in-laws. Okay... maybe evil is too strong a word... just let us know how you kept from biting your tongue off.
• Baseball Mom - Since she has a busy week ahead of her and is trying to get some gifts made... I'll make it easy. Tell about your best Thanksgiving or Christmas memory ever. What makes it special?... You know everyone loves a good heart-felt holiday tale this time of year!!

Alternative: If you're totally feeling like copping out on your assignment, you can do this one instead (it was hard coming up with them this week).

• Very simply (or elaborate as much as you like)... what will you be 'Giving Thanks' for this holiday season? Whether your list is 1... or 100... it is that time of year.

You know... the one where we all remember that we were supposed to be thankful all year long. Then we overcompensate on gift giving according to how guilty we feel about those we neglected. And then we make a resolution vowing to be better people the next year. Follow that with material items to prove we love people even though we forgot to be thankful for them. Finish the whole mess up by getting so depressed that we pretend we're Irish and just get DRUNK!! Hopefully we sober up in time to hide those Easter Eggs... lol... wait... that may just be how people in my family do it... Hopefully yours isn't as messed up as mine!

Happy Blogging!! Have a Great Holiday!!!

Read more ...

Saturday Suggestions (Part 2)

Okay... Here's the list of completed assignments for the week:

• Chris wrote her "How To Spoil Your Grandson" and promised to do wonderful loving grandma things with him. It was late, but well worth the wait!!
• Farmer*s Wife totally made me drool with recipes like Bacon Bread and Another Bacon Treat. I think I gained 15 pounds looking at these delicious morsels. Will definately be trying them out.
• J... gave us the Postal Update on her Girl Scouts soldier project and I hope that deal works out wonderfully. It's such a great idea. I'm still looking for the perfect "badge" to award her on that one.
• Kelly Dawn, as I said earlier this week, made me totally drool over her Garage Sale Steals. I've decided I don't hate the cold or the snow in winter, I hate the lack of garage sales!!
• Baseball Mom fill us in on "Cooking With Catcher Dude" and reminded us that our kids really do listen to every word we say... even if we think they don't.
• I have no doubt tt put in her quality family time since she became a Great Grammy this week!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

A+ to all of you for participating... YOU ROCK MY SOCKS!!

(The rest of you are bums! *wink grin*)

Speaking of bum... the remodel... yeah... haven't finished awards. I'll be sure to get right on that after I figure out what I want you all to do this week.

Keep it real!!

Read more ...

Saturday Suggestions

Ooh... I'm so bad. I haven't done them yet!!


But in my defense, I did make a new "Castle Window" for F*W. (p.s. you were never off the blog roll you just got bumped down by zealous bloggers) ---> You'll notice in her picture "The Last Unicorn"... some cotton... and the classic glass of wine!!


Oh yes... she's spoiled!!

here's a copy for her... so it matches her background!!
<---------------------
.
.
.
.
.
.
So yeah... I've been real busy with the remodel... trying to get all my weekdays up and working.

I think there's a swimming pool in my daughter's pants that needs to be taken care of. After that, hopefully I'll be able to catch up on my bloggies and set up the suggestions. Stay tuned for your projects..... (this message will self destruct in 10 seconds)


RUN!!! Read more ...

New Layout

See... I do listen to my readers. You see... I'm a big enough headache already... I don't want anyone getting a headache from looking at crazy bright pinks.

So three color schemes later, I came up with a background color that's a little easier on the eyes and still looks nice (at least to me)

I'm still not certain about the overall color scheme. I haven't had time to let the text colors sink in. So if you have a suggestion, feel free to let me know. Meanwhile, I'm going to go find some supper and sit back to enjoy some television for a couple of hours.

HAPPY THURSDAY!!
(promise... I'll get on the reading blogs things soon, I've just been busy!) Read more ...

I'm thinking of Remodeling

I know... I know... again? Yes!!

So I want to know what you think of my new layout idea.

I know it's blurry. Such is my luck. But I think you can get the general idea. Let me know what you think?

Read more ...

Saturday Suggestions UPDATE!!

Seems like the bloggies are on a roll! Here's the Saturday Suggestions that have been handed in already!!

1. Kelly Dawn told us about her Garage Sale Deals. And even without pics I'm sooooo jealous! "Hi. My name is Princess and I'm a bargain junkie!!"
2. J... has updated us on her Girl Scout's Care Packages by giving us the 4-1-1 on their field trip! That is so fabulous! I think she deserves a Girl Scout badge of some sort, I'll have to do some looking around.
3. F*W gave a Faboulous Bread Recipe with 5 easy ingrediants. That so qualifies as Princess-Can-Cook-It material!! It looks delicious!!

For those of you who haven't completed your Saturday Suggestions, you have until the end of the week!! Keep up the awesome blogging!!

Read more ...

So F*W doesn't cry

She throws a tantrum, screams and cries, tells my Mom, hates it when I don't play along.
So here goes nothing.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Of course, I was named after my cousin and a friend of my Mom's. If I had been a boy they'd have named me Reuben Thomas. Thank goodness for XX Chromosomes!!
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? The magic hankie says it was probably when they put the horses down, but it lies sometimes.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Sometimes. If I'm trying to be neat and Princessy it isn't bad, but then I see someone with beautiful handwriting and I think mine stinks. Othertimes, I have no doubt the child got her Ogrism from me and it is evident in my handwriting!
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Salami with Roast Beef coming in a close second!
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Have you not been paying attention? The gorgeously deceptive Ogre Child... and her father Prince Charming. That's plenty for now... though I think the Queen expects to get a whole litter out of me!!
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Absolutely not. Seriously, I'm an odd duck. I eat black olives and creamy Italian dressing. I dip French Fries in chocolate Frostie. I put peanut butter on (you may gag here) dill pickles! I color coordinate my crayons. I insist t-shirts and hand towels be folded in thirds. And I ramble on abotu the stupidest things you can imagine! I would take one look at me, say "FREAK!" and run screaming in the other direction! I won't be offended if you do the same!
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Never... it's against my religion to be sarcastic. My psychic keeps telling me that if I use sarcasm I'm bound to be tied up by my pinkie toes and tickled with an ostrich feather in the afterlife. Since I always listen to her advice, I make a point of never being sarcastic!!
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes... and my adnoids, appendix, gall bladder, and most of my brain. I've considered the organ-donation weight loss program though! do you know how much a kidney weighs?
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Yes... but only if you blindfold me until I get to the top and have the rope already hooked up. At that point it's just a simple procedure of telling me there is a chocolate bar at the bottom while you point a gun at me. That would definately get me to Bungee Jump... no chocolate? Just shoot me!!
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Toss up between hot oatmeal and Life (probably because I need to get one!)
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? You really need to call a psychic. All psychics will tell you that shoelaces are from the devil. I only own one pair of shoes with laces (okay, I own two but don't tell Lady Willow because she doesn't know... wait... she's Psychic!!... CRAP!!) Anyway... I try to avoid wearing those shoes with the dreaded laces... but when I do wear them, I attempt to remove them without untying them. Who wants to grab wet, mushy, muddy laces anyway?
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Stronger than many, weaker than some. Physically though, it's a good thing I was granted a strong temper and a big mouth because I'm a twig compared to some of the people who might consider "taking me". Big mouths are deceptive though... or maybe it's the loud voice that indicates if I scream they will hear it for 15 blocks.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Half Baked... no, I'm not a pot-head. I just love the idea of ice cream, chocolate brownie chunks and cookie dough all wrapped up into a tasty hip-bulging treat!! Raspberry sherbert takes a close second, but it's not ice cream!
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Physical appearances don't matter much. I go straight for that sense of humor. Because if you're going to get along with me for more than 15 minutes, you'll definately need one!
15. RED OR PINK? Totally into the RED thing. I have a cute red dress, a red pair of jeans, my living room is red, the last piece of art I made was mostly red. Yep... despite my love for pink blogs and princessy things... in real life, I'm all about the red!!
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I'm going with F*W on this... I tend to be impatient and I have a flaming temper. And once I'm worked up... I'm a total B****! It's not pretty!
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST. Why Mom & Dad of course. I like having them around. Of course there is time limit and we definately need a buffer zone between our homes, but I don't think we need a 6 hour buffer zone. I'd be happy with about an hour... maybe 30 minutes... just far enough to have to call before they stop by! LOL
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Everyone? Heck no... like I want a flood I can't handle!
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Flesh... that's a color right? Okay... you got it... no shoes... barefoot in pajamas. What did you expect? It's Saturday!!
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Oatmeal... sounded good for supper last night and yes it was... but now I'm out and it's sad!!
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW ? Steel Magnolias on the television and Ogre Babbles in the livingroom.
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Red... definately red!!
23. FAVORITE SMELLS ? Rain, Clean Linens (line dried preferably), and Alfalfa
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? The Boss... that's a miracle because the answer is usually the Queen, but the Boss called last night to ask about a website. Just a fluke!
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Well of course... why else would I be sitting here on question 25 right now? It's all to make her smile. And entertain myself in a moment of boredom. But mostly to make her smile.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? I once saw a very exciting game of Soccer. Sorry, not a sprots buff. Seeing a NASCAR race in RL is pretty neat (especially when the whole crowd flips a driver off when his name is announced!) - Thanks Queen!
27. HAIR COLOR? I still have some. It's brown. But I it's been every color of the rainbow except green (it's even been green if you count the St. Patrick's Day evening I smeared glow in the dark goop from a bar button all over my head!... Note to self... it takes 5 times of washing your hair to get that smell out of it!!)
28. EYE COLOR? Sperm-donor Blue. Go ahead... laugh! But I'd say it's a pretty fascinating feat considering blue eyes are a recessive trait and all six of us have different mothers and yet all got the exact same color of blue eyes!
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Glasses or contacts. A product of blind-as-a-bat-itis. If you're curious as to how blind... I can't read the E on the eye chart! And even with the most expensive poly-thinning on my lenses... they're still bulletproof! Be jealous!
30. FAVORITE FOOD ? Anything Italian... or Mexican... or Greek... mmmmmmm Greek... I think a trip to Sioux City is in order (Horizon's Family Restaurant used to have a fabulous Greek dish that I could totally founder on).
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Ooh... I'm the hard core Scary girl, but when it comes to the all time faves, I'm still a sucker for a sappy, make-you-bawl, chick flick. The Notebook... The Lakehouse... Steel Magnolias (remember... it's on TV right now... TNT if you're curious!)
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED ? All the way through? No clue... did I mention Steel Magnolias is on right now? And later tonight I'll be watching a couple of scary movies a student loaned me (The Cave, and The Descent)
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING. Cream... with a sexy picture of Marilyn Monroe on it. And Marilyn written acrossed it in pale pink. It's very sexy, chic, vintage. And the tight fit means I can't wear it outside without clearly indicating the chilly temperature!
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer... until it gets here and the 104 degree temps have driven me inside to sweat away 15 pounds. Then I'll be begging for winter. I'd really just prefer it if someone would put a thermostat on the weather. Then I could turn it down enough to get snow for Christmas... turn it up enough to get a slight tan in the Summer... and stay perfectly comfortable the rest of the year. While you're at it, you need to install a programable timer for the sprinkler system because I really hate that it only rains on days when I need to fill up the gas tank! Whatever happened to full service gas stations because I'm telling you, there are days I'd pay extra for someone else to stand out in this cold, wet, windy crap!
35. HUGS OR KISSES? I'm all about Hugs... Ogre Child kisses... as cute as they are... are often sloppy, sticky, or otherwise gag-me-gross!
36. FAVORITE DESSERT ? Sherbert. I'm dying to treat myself to a little Champagne and Sherbert. Other than that, I like Banana Splits, a good cheesecake, and Half-Baked Ice cream!
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? If I'd have known you were going to ask me this, I'd have called my psychic first. Geeze! What do you think I pay her for?
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND. See above. F*W because she already did it!
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW ? Currently, I'm typing... but my current reading list includes: The Art of Happiness (living room reading); The Traveler's Gift (for my English class); Thank You For All Things (Bathtub reading); You Don't Know Me (reading at work); A Dean Koontz book I borrowed (bedside reading). And before you ask... no, I have no trouble keeping the stories seperate, but it does take much longer to finish a book when you only read it in one setting.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My cable/internet company. It's the only service they do give us for free.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT. Let me refer to the Neilson's Rating survey... Looks like we watched some family comedies in the afternoon... Weeds... House... more House... and The Science Channel. Gee... we're exciting!
42. FAVORITE SOUND. Ogre Child's endless vocab of new words. The newest is "baa-gle" and "goo-grrl". Don't speak Ogre? No problem. Last night she accidentally broke a plastic ruler. She sat on the chair holding the pieces saying "baa-gle, baa-gle, baa-gle, baa-gle, baa-gle, baa-gle." When I stopped laughing enough that I could breathe, I said... "it's okay honey... it was an accident." To which she smiled and said "goo-grrl, goo-grrl, goo-grrl, goo-grrl, goo-grrl!" while wiggling in the chair!! *peed*
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Neither... thank you very much! *vomits*
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME??? Michigan! Followed by Utah!
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Art, music, various other creative skills that you definately don't want to hear about!! LOL... just kidding, we don't do anything that creative... we have a toddler!!
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? A tiny hospital in a little village just south of a big hill from which you can see the edge of nowhere. And I'm not joking in the slightest!
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Why everyone of course... because I need to collect more information so I can decide who I'm going to cyberstalk!! Hey... everyone else is doing it... I want to stalk someone too!!

Read more ...

Here Is My Protest

WARNING: THIS POST MAY OFFEND and I don't care!!
Brought to my attention by Pink Asparagus - Thank you!!

I'm not the stand-out-in-the-cold-and-burn-my-bra type. However, I must say this:

CALIFORNIA'S PROP 8 IS A RIDICULOUS BACKWOODS HOMOPHOBIC HILLBILLY LAW

First and foremost let me say that I am NOT a HOMOSEXUAL, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER, SWINGER, or otherwise sexually curious individual!! I NEVER HAVE BEEN!! And to my knowledge I do not know anyone in my life who is!!

HOWEVER, I am also NOT a SIMPLE-MINDED, BUCK-TOOTHED, LIVING IN THE STONE AGE, BIGOT!!

I just don't get the point in being homophobic!

1. I do not believe that allowing same sex marriage somehow endangers the sanctity of traditional marriage. I personally believe that the "sanctity" of traditional marriage seems to do a fine job of falling apart without any outside help. And I've never met a divorcee who said, "If it weren't for gay people my marriage would have lasted!" Marriage fails because of lack of proper communication and personal differences. Unless you've got some scientific evidence that proves homosexuals cannot communicate properly, don't try to tell me their marriages would be less successful!
2. If you don't approve of gay marriage/civil union there is a very simple cure. DON'T DO IT! I don't approve of eating dogs... I DON'T DO IT!
3. Dear Government, laws like this should never even make it to the polls. If you honor the concept of CHURCH vs. STATE and take the religious opinions out of the arguement, there is no scientific or moral conflict involved here. To say that this is socially immoral (as opposed to religiously immoral) is obsurd. If we are going to vote on any discriminatory policy suggested in this country, I know some people who wouldn't mind seeing SLAVERY put back up for a vote (and I believe in some backwoods areas of this country it would pass). I know some men who wouldn't mind seeing women's right to vote reconsidered. If religious preferences are going to control this country, I'd like to see the churches paying their fair share of taxes. That'd definately help out iwth the nations financial crisis!!

For those of you out there who believe that this type of thing is unacceptable, let me pull out the history books:

• In England in the 13th century it was unlawful for a woman to marry before the age of 24.
• In the past there have been various laws against marrying people from different sects (financial, racial, tribal, religious, etc.)
• Until Loving vs. Virginia in 1967, interracial marriages were illegal in the U.S.
• Polygomy was once legal in the U.S.
• In Ancient Rome (one of the most successful realms of the past) homosexuality was accepted.

So if you insist on desciminating against other's relationships by revoking freedoms that have been granted, please consider whether you or anyone you love has done the following:

• married before the age of 24
• married someone of another religion
• married someone of another race
• married someone from another financial status
• Then check your family tree and make sure that no one of "royal" heritage has married someone of "non-royal" heritage.

Considering that all of these things were once frowned upon (or downright illegal), if any are true for you or your family, you really ought to put your personal opinions aside and think very carefully on how much you want the government to control who you are allowed to love!!

GET OVER IT!!

Everyone has a right to have their LOVE for another person ACKNOWLEDGED!!

Read more ...

Suggestion Saturday

Last week's Suggestions Saturday was somewhat of a hit. In other words, those of you who did it completed your assignments while complaining less than my students do seemed to enjoy it.

So let's send out the bloggie report cards (sorry, you don't get the benefit of confidentiality).

• Chris - was excused and get's an extension on her assignment due to family circumstances. Please send her love and prayers.
• F*W - A+ for completing her Gremlin assignment with minimal complaints
• J... - A+ and BONUS points for completing both her own assignment, but also completing the happiness assignment.
• Kelly Dawn - B because while she did not complete the Happiness Lesson, she did do Thankful Thursday which is along the same lines and deserves to be mentioned.
• T.T. - A+ for completing the Happiness Lesson.
• Baseball Mom - A+ for completing the Happiness Lesson.
• The Queen - A for completing the Happiness Lesson (in an incomplete form).
• kcinnova - F*W - The Queen & T.T. All get BONUS points for sending good wishes to Tink who just got married!!
• Fairy Flutters & Prohomaker - both have D- for failure to complete their assignments!! Goofy fools probably broke into F*W's wine cellar and drank 'til they forgot!! But being the generous person I am, I'll give them another chance to sober up before I totally fail them :)

Now for this weeks assignments:

• Chris - Fairy Flutters & Prohomaker are to complete last week's assignment.
• F*W - Since she whined, complained, wimpered, b!#@&ed, suggested that she was great with the recipes, I think she needs to give me something really tasty. Of course it's not that easy because I'm kitchen-challenged. Therefor, it must have minimal ingrediants and require minimal time. I'm all about things like Easy Peasy Meatloaf. Remember, I barely know what that box with the burny things is for... so keep it simple!
• J... - Is doing a wonderful thing with her kiddo's. So I want to hear how the Care Package Project is coming along!!
• Kelly Dawn - is off to hit the bargain yard sales. I'm a total sale junky so I want to hear about any deals she stumbled on today or her best finds yard saling in the past. Bonus for pictures that make us jealous!!
• T.T. is on "vacation" so I'm giving her a really easy assignment that doesn't require blogging. Her job is to spend some quality time with Lovee and leave a comment.
• The Queen has been busy busy. Do to extinuating circumstances, she is absent from class and is excused from assignments until further notice.
• Baseball Mom is new and I don't know her very well, so I'll let her have her pick. She can either tell us what fun things she has done with the young 'ens or a humorous story about trying to deal with medical conditions or doctors.
• Everyone else can post a funny story or joke. WARNING: Participation will mean you are included in next weeks assignment!!

------------------------------------------

That being said, I feel a need to complete some assignments from my own bloggies. So stay tuned for those!

Read more ...

Once Again!!

I know, how can I possible not blog for 2 whole days? Well... I do have a blog for today, but I also have an eye appointment. The pending thoughts will definately depend on how long my appointment takes and what kind of mood I'm in afterwards.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!

You know the deal. If not... click the picture for the original post.


<a href="http://onemorefairytale.blogspot.com/2008/10/join-poets-society.html"><br /><br /><img src="http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i69/elocin80/POETS.jpg" align="center" /> </a>

Read more ...

For Mom

(and anyone else who needs it)

Those are definately words to live by!!

Read more ...

Handing Out Some Early Awards!! UPDATED FOR TT

Why wait all week right? I mean... what if something comes up? What if you totally forget you deserve an award? Have no fear, here are the early awards for those who have finished their Saturday Suggestions!!

For Farmer*s Wife's wonderful skills at cleaning up after those nasty gremlins!!











For J...'s wonderful Snow Day Activities (which also involved staying warm)










And for anyone who has completed the Happiness Lesson!!










Instructions:

1. Right click image and save to computer.
2. Go to Layout in blogger and add element.
3. You're adding a picture so click that.
4. Use the browse option to find the picture you saved in step 1.
5. After the picture loads, SAVE!!
6. Then you can use the layout area to move it where you want it on your blog.

Tadaaa... you did it!

Let me know if you need more help than that & I'll see what I can do.

Read more ...

Thanks

A BIG THANK YOU to kcinova for a wonderful award.

Glad I could help brighten your day!!

So what did I do on my day off?

1. Slept 'til noon!!
2. Made blog awards.
3. Sorted and packed up all laundry.
4. Prince Charming loaded car to the hilt.
5. Ate at Chili's
6. Picked up laundry soap at Walgreen's
7. Spend 2.5 hours in a laundry mat.
8. 8 loads of laundry later, I found out I forgot to wash a load (tohellwithit!)
9. Reload the car
10. Grab pizza (yes, bi-polar appetites)
11. Pre-purchase tickets to see Twilight on the 21st!!
12. Grab some things from Target
13. Finally home 5 hours later
14. Log on to see I got a blog award (WOOHOO! Almost makes up for that forgotten load of laundry!)

Now I'm going to kick back and relax!!

Have a wonderful evening!!

On a side note: My 8 loads of laundry would have been about 12 loads at our facility washers. They would have cost me $20 and 9 hours of time. Plus the exhaustion of walking a block each waytwice per load. Doing them in town cost me $17 plus gas and only 2.5 hours!! WOOHOO!!

Read more ...

Suggestion Saturday!!

You know what... it's hard coming up with something to post about sometimes. So I thought I'd spice up things with a little contest. I'll go through my blogroll and make a suggestion for some of you to post about! Anyone who posts about their suggested topic in the next week will get an award!!

• Chris - Since darling Aunt Chris will soon be a Grandma (and it's finally sinking in) I think she should post a "How To Spoil Your Grandson" post.
• F*W is having Gremlin problems. So... since I have no doubt she's a miracle worker when it comes to the Susy Homemaker crap... I want a "How To Wrangle the Gremlins Without Breaking a Sweat" post.
• Fairy Flutters is home alone while the MAN is out bringing home the bacon... I should say venison. And since we might be getting ourselves some tasty Bambi this year, I'm requestion "Venison Recipes" from FF. (No need to get fancy, I'm Kitchen-Challenged Dear!!)
• J... darling is snowed in and her plans have all gone to the dogs. So, with winter creeping up on all of us, I think she should be the first to provide us with a few "Snowy Day Activities" to entertain us and get us through the Winter Blues.
• Prohomaker - I actually know what I want from this one and it's solely based on personal selfishness! I've been trying to put together a chore schedule. One that amounts to a few daily chores and rotating some major household chores. Busy Mom's cannot come home and spend the entire evening cleaning. So please!! Enlighten us!!
• And not to leave anyone out. Kelly Dawn, The Queen, and some others (T.T.) are just having some general stress in their lives. So I'm going to pull out the old "Happiness Lessons" from my English class. You assignment is to list the following: a) 5 Things I'm Grateful I'm NOT... b) 5 Things I'm Thankful I Am... c) 5 Things I Will Do To Make Someone Else Happy This Week... and most importantly d) 5 Things I Will Do To Make ME Happy This Week!! (FYI: When I do this exercise with students it's almost an instant mood booster and we all need a little "pick me up" from time to time.)
• And for all of you who didn't get named in person, try the Happiness Lesson because it's worth it!!

Let me know if and when you complete your assignment and I'll link this post to your completed project!! (Plus I'll bump the post so everyone knows you did it!!) Awards will be posted at the end of the week.

• My Happiness Lesson
• TT's Happiness Lesson
• J...'s Snowy Day Activities
• F*W's How To Wrestle Gremlins Without Breaking a Sweat
• Baseball Mom's Happiness Lesson

HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!!!!!

And on a side note, there is a blogger who cannot accept an assignment at this time... Why?

BECAUSE SHE'S GETTING MARRIED TODAY!!!

So you all need to go give the lovely Bride a bunch of hugs and love!!

CONGRATULATIONS TINK!!!

Read more ...

Monday Memories

Reading Mr. Lady's story about finding her brother, kinda got me thinking this morning...

For those of you that don't know, I come from a complicated family. Okay, let me rephrase that. There is NOTHING complicated (fucked up? yes, but complicated? no) about my family. THERE is, however, A LOT of things complicated (and very fucked up) when it comes to my paternal DNA provider!!

Let me give you a quick tangled web of my siblings (try to stay with me):

• DNA married Wife1 had BigSis. Wife1 leaves DNA takes kid moves to Hawaii.
• DNA married Wife2 but no kids.
• Instead he gets UnWifeA knocked up with BigBro and since she hates DNA she marries another and BigBro never knows his real family.
• DNA meets Mom Queen! They have ME!! UhOh... better divorce Wife2! so Mom Queen makes Wife3 but that was dumb and she figures it out.
• Unfortunately, she doesn't figure it out until she meets UnWifeB. UnWifeB is young and used to babysit me, but when Mom Queen goes to see UnWifeB's new baby and WOWZERS!! That's one of DNA's Kids!! Yeah!!
• So Mom Queen leaves DNA and he goes on to marry Wife4. Wife4 gives him BabySis and lets him adopt her son. But Wife4 doesn't know his little secret and finally ends up divorcing him years later.
• After DNA spends many years milking the government for every dime repaying his debt to society, he marries Wife5 and has BabyBrother.

That's the Reader's Digest version. Hope you kept up!

Not the point though... the point is, I got to thinking about this whole disconnected family thing. Truth is, I don't speak to DNA and I will not be speaking to him for as long as he lives. So what does that mean? Well, here's where that "thinking" comes into mind. You see, I was 25 when BabyBrother was born!! That's right!! Twenty-FRIGGING-Five!!! Better than that, BigSis was Thirty-THREE!! The real kicker? I'll be 43 when my baby brother turns 18!! WTF!!! BigSis will be over 50!!! Holy FUCK!! This is just INSANE!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah... be jealous... my family is more messed up than theres!

----------------------------------

And, browsing the bloggies... I must commend Kelly Dawn for this one. I'm not usually the quizzy type, but who can resist being compared to the classic beauties?

And the verdict came back...

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz..

You Are a Marilyn!

You are a Marilyn -- "I am affectionate and skeptical."

Marilyns are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

• Be direct and clear
• Listen to me carefully
• Don't judge me for my anxiety
• Work things through with me
• Reassure me that everything is OK between us
• Laugh and make jokes with me
• Gently push me toward new experiences
• Try not to overreact to my overreacting.
• (OMG I think they nailed me!)

What I Like About Being a Marilyn

• being committed and faithful to family and friends
• being responsible and hardworking
• being compassionate toward others
• having intellect and wit
• being a nonconformist
• confronting danger bravely
• being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Marilyn

• the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
• procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
• fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
• exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
• wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
• being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations (Add in the perfectionism of a Capricorn and what-a-mess!)

Marilyns as Children Often

• are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
• are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
• form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
• look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
• are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Marilyns as Parents

• are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
• are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
• worry more than most that their children will get hurt
• sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

FYI... this was creepy!!

Read more ...

What a day!!

I swear I spent the entire course of the last couple days trying to keep teenagers attitudes in check. I've given the "Make Positive Choices Speech" so many times this week that I'm probably quoting myself in my sleep!

That speech of course is often followed by the "Don't Let Other's Poor Choices Influence Your Positive Choices Speech". Another one that I'm probably mumbling about in the wee hours of darkness.

Without going into detail, it's definately been INTERESTING! (And it's not just the teenagers acting up!)

So in an attempt to appreciate the important things (and forget the HYPOCRACY of certain individuals) I'm going to copy Jill...

Things that will never get old:

• A wonderfully affectionate hug from Prince Charming after a long day of work.
• Waking up early enough to brew a cup of coffee that I don't have to share with anyone.
• A good night's sleep.
• And the classic... "Ogre Child's Smile"

Things that I will never get used to:

• People who insist on blaming everyone else for every little wrong in their lives.
• Children who do not understand the value of an education.
• People who insist on being overly judgemental of others.
• Religious fanatics who think politics should bow to their whim.
• The fact that our government still allows religious arguements to weigh on our legislature.

Things I could really do without:

• Laundry that keep piling up.
• People's SHITTY attitudes.
• Cold, windy weather!

Things I just don't understand:

• How my child can eat an entire plate of food until she is completely stuffed and then beg for what Mom or Dad are eating.
• How one child can make such a big mess (I swear that we either had twins or Newton needs to reassess the laws of Physics.)
• Why being macho takes priority over doing the right thing.
• Why I let the littles things get to me.

Read more ...

POETS Society

You know the deal. If not... click the picture for the original post.


<a href="http://onemorefairytale.blogspot.com/2008/10/join-poets-society.html"><br /><br /><img src="http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i69/elocin80/POETS.jpg" align="center" /> </a>
Read more ...

Thought this was hilarious!

And very appropriate!! Read more ...

Forgot I saved this for WTF Wednesday!

While following the election I couldn't help but laugh at this. This screenshot of the election map on FoxNews was taken just as they were declaring South Carolina for McCain. For the haters out there I'd like to point out that CNN's map show the same thing. My logical explaination is that the state was declared faster than they could update the percentages because a minute later, it was correct. But I thought it was funny! Makes it easy to understand why everyone is so confused when it comes to counting votes!!

Read more ...

WTF Wednesday... it is Wednesday right?

Well... I swear... it's been one of those days.

I spent the whole day having a battle of wits with a keyboard... somewhere in the middle of this battle, the printer decided to gets it's digs in. When it was all said and done, it turns out I was right, it was just a matter of finding the right setting to click.

(FYI Readers: Don't get your panties in a ruffle thinking that's some metaphore for something else... I really was fighting with my keyboard and the printer wouldn't print the document background and for the life of me I couldn't find the spot to make it print right. Turns out I had to go through like 3 option window to find a setting that was making it print DATA only... and it really did take almost all day because of various interuptions!)

But the truth is I did get my utility bills copied and filed into a practicle and managable system. Of course, I'm sure the boss would have preferred I spent the time organizing our office files, I'm on a personal organization kick.

Anyway...

WTF is up with testing the smoke alarm in my ear? (Thanks Prince Charming!)

WTF is up with someone drinking all my wine? (Not really, but I thought it'd be fun to blame FW for something she didn't do)

WTF is up with parents who don't make their kids go to school? (I seriously had no classes today because half the kids were on a field trip and the other half were absent)

WTF is up with my daughter dumping all her toys out 15 minutes after they are picked up.

I think that will suffice... I have some real good WTF's but others seem to get all bent out of shape when I talk about them in public. I guess I don't get it because I don't focus too much on what anonymous internet browsers think of me. All I care is that the bloggies love me. And you SOOOOOO know you do!!! Read more ...

I'm Not Ignoring You

I know... I know... I'm a horrible bloggie friend. I don't visit, I don't comment.

Well, in my defense, I have been commenting on a few. But you early morning bloggers have kinda been left out of the loop because my schedule is interfering with that.

But I just wanted to remind you all that I do see you there, and I try to jump over to read, and I promise I'll pick up on the comments. You have not been forgotten!!

HUG WEDNESDAY HUGS TO ALL MY BLOGGIE FRIENDS!!! Read more ...

I changed Parties today.

Since I had to fill out a provisional ballot, I figured it was as good of time as any to switch my party affiliation. I did not make this decision lightly. I am not the blind voter who listens to the media on every little topic and lets them make my decision for me. Every year before elections, I investigate the "Issues" that the candidates are supporting and I based my informed decision on that.

So today, as I searched my soul on a Presidential candidate, I finally came to terms with my decision. And went on to investigate my Senators and Representatives. And here is what I found...

1. Our Democratic senator's page takes you right to the issues he's addressing. He discussed in detail what his thoughts were for changing and helping the rural residents of our state.
2. When I went to the "Issues" of our Republican senator, the first thing I read was... "When I visit home and talk to Kansans." While I can understand that this position probably means he must spend much of his time out of state, the fact he merely 'visits' our state did not strike confidence in me.

1. Democratic Representative's web page... again, clearly addresses the issues and explains his views.
2. Republican Representative's web page... I never even made it to the issues because right at the top of the page, she has a video about how bad Obama and the other Representative are. And frankly, I've had enough of the slander crap to last me a lifetime. If her biggest priority is pointing fingers, I'm not even interested in the issues.

This, combined with the fact that the Republican party dared to call me and ask me for $250 to fund their campaign... yep... I've had it. In a Republican state, it really doesn't matter what one person thinks.

However, if you plan on running for office and think you want MY vote, you might want to make sure you are focusing on issues rather than funding personal attacks. Because frankly, I've had enough of this election to last me another 4 years. I'm so sick of it!!

FYI: I don't even care what anyone thinks. My family is Republican, but I've really had enough of the scare tactics and bad mouthing. I got enough of that from my Mother's side of the family!

Read more ...

Did I Shave My Legs for This?

In a follow up of my newest freebee I thought I'd let you all know how the whole razor issue came out.


So here's the razor
It's the new Venus Embrace razor with five blades.

And all I can say is...


...


...


WOW!!


This is by far the best razor I have ever used. I could barely feel it as it slid over my legs... and trust me, I'm all about the smooth, take-the-first-layer-of-skin-off-your-legs shave!


Did I mention that by the time I get around to shaving, it often calls for a chainsaw? Or that when I'm finished clearing my saskwatch body of hair, it looks like I shaved a small dog in my bathtub?


That being said (I'll deny it if you mention it when I'm running for president!) this razor really tackled the job like a champ!!


I will definately recommend it to anyone. I have some $4 coupons for it I'm going to give to my RL friends. But don't fret... I'm not leaving my bloggie friends out of the loop on this one.


CLICK HERE to get your own $2 off coupon for this fabulous razor!


I know it's winter, but seriously, tackle those legs girl. You'll sleep better without the feel of steel wool in your bed everytime your legs brush each other... And not that we really care, but the guys will love it!! Read more ...

Screenshot this BITCH!!

I've thought this through for some time and yes, I feel the need to talk about it. HOWEVER, I'm not going to clutter any forums with such TRIVIAL bullshit!

1. Both of my forums are being deleted. Unlike SOME people, I cannot just turn a blind eye when the shit starts to fly. I don't need drama in my life and I won't be the reason it is in the lives of those I love.
2. Your MOTHER was NOT singled out to have their account deleted. EVERYONE'S ACCOUNTS WERE DELETED!!
3. Offspring SUCKS ASS!
4. Telling someone you called them "Chicken Shit-ish" and then saying "I would not say nasty things to someone about their mother" in the same paragraph makes you sound like a JACKASS!!
5. If you're going to be a writing critic, I suggest having some credentials in the writing department. You say you don't play games, and yet you had to get this little DIG in. "I don't like you and your writing sucks." Well, frankly, the feeling is mutual and I really don't think she gives a flying horses ass whether or not you like her writing. But frankly, don't tell me you don't play games after I read that!
6. I know exactly how long my Mother's blog post was up. I know exactly how many visitors viewed it in that time. My impression is that if you post a blog and in the short time it is up, someone immediately views and SCREENSHOTS it... you have a stalker. Because it wasn't up for very long!! And frankly, STALKERS are SCARY!! I don't care who they are!!
7. Mom doesn't even know what cookies are.
8. The picture you sent a link to is not even available!
9. She definately doesn't know what a PROXY server is... even I had to look that one up!
10. If it's just dumb shit you did when you were young, why are you so bent out of shape? There were no names, and it's gone now!! Had a STALKER not taken a screenshot... no one would ever have known.
11. Since you didn't do what you said you were going to do, I can only assume you don't have the proof you say you do. I am certainly NOT convinced.
12. She didn't forward or otherwise send these messages to me. As executor of her estate, I have all her passwords on file. When she said she was getting emails from you, I logged into her email account. Feel free to whine about it!!

And with that, I'm going to go play with my daughter!! Quit making an ASS out of yourself. The forum went to hell... it's gone... and yes, it is partly the fault of the people on YOUR forum, but not entirely. GET THE FUCK OVER IT!!

And as far as the person who sent you an email about supposed reasons for supposedly kicking someone off... They are full of shit (or you are) because the whole damn thing was shut down at once, with the exception of Admins/Mods. The forum will be completely deleted as soon as I find the time. I planned on doing it tonight, but was too busy reading the crap that was sent to my mother!

Read more ...

No I didn't PEE! But close!

Dear Halloween Creepy Guy!!

I will so be coming to your house next year fully prepared with a super soaker and toilet paper!! Thank you for making me the entertainment for the night. No I do not need a bathroom, but you should have warned me that I would need to bring an inhaler if I planned on breathing.

Thanks Again! Read more ...

Disney Sponsors the Schools?

That's right... if you haven't read it yet... the first thing you need to do is read Jill's post about the school's Halloween party

Okay... did you read it? Good. Now you will understand my rant.

WTF?!?!?

Kids can be Disney characters, Fairytale characters, Aminals, Plants, Etc.... and that's it?

They CANNOT be Superheros, ghosts, goblins, witches, devils, ninjas?

That being said... I'm going to give Jill (and anyone else who gets theses letters) a list of acceptable costumes for next year.

• Big Bad Wolf - Meets all of the required criteria... Disney, Fairy Tale, AND Animal... scary as hell though... imagine the crying preschoolers!!
• Captain Hook or any of the other pirates- If you wanted to pull off a "banned" pirate costume! (Also, any characters from Pirates of the Caribbean, or Blackbeard's Ghost)
• Chernabog - The scary ass demon from Fantasia!!
• Hades - The mythological equivilant to the DEVIL!!! and a Disney character. (Or there's always The Devil and Max Devlin)
• Maleficent - She's not really a witch... she's a "dark fairy" and "mistress of all evil"... and she turns into a dragon. BONUS!!
• Evil Queen (Snow White) - Again... not a witch... a QUEEN! (More Disney Witches: Bedknobs & Broomsticks; Hocus Pocus; Chronicles of Narnia)
• Sid Phillips (Toy Story) - If you want to pull off the whole "bad boy" or "semi-goth" costume!
• The caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland - don't forget to make a HOOKA for the costume!!
• Baby Herman (Who Framed Roger Rabbit) - CIGAR and all!!
• Jessica Rabbit - Need I elaborate?
• Merlin (Sword in the Stone) - In case wizards are banned.
• Rabid Dog (Old Yeller)
• Tarzan - make sure all you give the boy is a LOIN CLOTH!
• The Princess from Princess Diaries - I prefer recreating the scene where they catch her changing at the beach... just wrap the kid in a beach towel!

And see... I'm only dealing with the Disney portion of acceptable characters.

Fairytale really leaves it wide open. Anyone ever read a TRUE Grimm Brother's Fairy Tale... There is some SCARY SHIT in there!!

Let's take oh.... Cinderella...

the two false sisters came and wanted to get into favor with Cinderella and
share her good fortune. When the betrothed couple went to church, the elder was
at the right side and the younger at the left, and the pigeons pecked out one
eye from each of them. Afterwards as they came back the elder was at the left,
and the younger at the right, and then the pigeons pecked out the other eye from
each. And thus, for their wickedness and falsehood, they were punished with
blindness all their days.

Kindergarten class will never be the same after you send your child to class dressed like a beautiful princess... with her EYES PLUCKED OUT!!

Oh yes... fairy tale characters are PERFECTLY acceptable!! But no ninja's?

In addition to sending your child in one of these costumes... I propose the following suggestions:

• Claim to be affiliated with and then complain about the religious infringment of allowing ANGEL costumes. Bonus for choosing a "pagan" religion.
• Insist that your family tree goes back to Salem and not allowing your child to express his heritage is wrong (Note: Yes, I realize "real" witches didn't wear goofy hats and stuff.)
• Propose that denying a ninja costume discriminates against those of Asian heritage!
• As a parent, come watch your child's Halloween Parade dressed in any costume on the list of forbidden costumes. Let them pick on someone their own size!!
• Demand to speak to your school board about why they are demoralizing our children by promoting "false" role models created by Disney... when they SHOULD be promoting real life heros like Policemen, Nurses, Doctors, Firemen, etc. (costumes that may not have been forbidden, but were definately not included on the acceptable list!!)

Have I mentioned that I have a pet peeve about SCHOOLS who step on the toes of GOOD parents because they are overcompensating for those who are BAD parents?

Have I mentioned that I have a pet peeve about SCHOOLS who step on a parent's "RIGHT TO MAKE CHOICES FOR THEIR CHILD" by forbidding mohawks, harmless costumes, and other ridiculous bullshit!!

Yes... I work for a school. And yes... my child will PROBABLY attend a public school. However, I do not agree with everything that schools (including the one I work for) do. And I'm certain, that when I am a parent, I will disagree with the school more often than I do now.

I'm not saying schools are bad... just that much like all things government these days they have some real serious CONTROL ISSUES! And I will admittedly blame the growing number of STUPID PARENTS... but I don't think we all deserve to be punished to compensate!

Hope Jill can use some of these while she's stepping up to the plate on the whole school stuff. Go root for her!! Read more ...

Happy Early Birthday Present to Me

"The third season of Big Love will premiere on January 11, 2009"

Way early!! Read more ...

Okay... you better clean your guest room!

Okay... listen up bloggies!! One of you lives near enough to Corpus Christie to show up from there. I think I can guess who it is. And I'm just saying... you better be cleaning up your guest room because a) winter is knocking on the door b) I need a good vacation c) the biggest body of water I've ever seen was Lake Michigan d) I have a really CUTE swimsuit e) Ogre Child loves swimming and f) gas prices are low enough to drive there!!

I'm telling you right now, we spent last winter without electricity for 10 days and I'm so not staying with the in-laws again... I'll pack up the car and drive south until I see your house!!

All I ask for is a warm shower and a little sunshine... and coffee. Read more ...

You've Gotta Participate!

So, I'm all about freebies!! And coupons!!!

Unfortunately there are tons of sites out there that are just B.S.

THIS is not one of them.

I signed up (maybe a couple weeks ago) with vocalpoint and...

this week I recieved

• a Gillette Venus Embrace razor to sample. It also came with five coupons for $4 off the razor to give to friends.
• a brochure about StarKist Tuna Creations and their flavors. This came with a Buy One Get One Free coupon on a StarKist Creations or StarKist Pouch. Again, came with 4 addition brochures to share with friends (or buy more tuna... lol)

So honestly, if you're in to that sort of stuff give it a shot. They might never send me anything else... but they are genuine. There's also coupons available on their site (this week it's $2 off the Kashi granola bars).

Happy Wednesday... I'll let you know if the razor's worth it or not when I get up the ambition to actually shave my legs!!

FYI: Queen... this might be something to jump start your other blog!!

Read more ...

I shouldn't be shocked

Some of google's top search terms this month... (FYI: Yes, I'm very bored!)

Oct 6 - #14: bird is the word
Oct 7 - #1: Walk softly and carry a big stick
Oct 8 - #17: Sad guys on the trading floor
Oct 9 - #3: creepy gay kid happy birthday
Oct 15 - #2: litmus test... #18: LIPNESS test
Oct 18 - #7: Deep fried Pepsi

Oct 20 - #1:
hummingbird sex position

Oct 22 - #1: I hate your guts Jim Norton
Oct 23 - #11: Domino surgery
Oct 24 - #15: hit a jew day
Oct 28 - #1: dirt nasty
Oct 29 - #64: ten inch hero

I desperately want to know what was going on October 20th... that's just disturbing!!! Read more ...

Goodnight Sweet Boys (tear-factor)

Two dear friends are gone this evening.

Some girls get an Easter Bunny... I got a horse.

You can say, "It's just a horse," and maybe in your eyes that's all they are. But for a rancher, a horse is a friend. A horse can save a million man hours. A horse can bring the cows home out of canyons a man can't dream to walk and the best 4-wheel-drive can't conquer. A horse will brave the heat with you, weather the humidity with you, work the whole day long with you. All because you asked him to. A horse will be a friend to walk the hills to nowhere for no particular reason except to see what might be over the next ridge. A horse is the one creature on a ranch who has earned every right to die on the place because only a horse will log as many working hours as a man will.

Our horses have been retired for years now. Just a couple of ol' hay burners who've logged their hours and earned their right.

That Ol' Man loved my Dad enough to take the hit the bull had meant for Dad. And that Ol' Man loved my Pretty Boy enough to stand by his side after the lightening strike that crippled them. And my Pretty Boy loved Ol' Man enough to stay with him through all the cold winter snows when his legs were stiff with arthritis. And they both loved home enough to gallop all the way to their corrals when they were 'kidnapped' for a week.

We loved them both enough to offer up every luxury we could to try and see them live long happy lives. And they both have. They have ran free in green pastures long past their prime.

Today we had let them go. At 28, the Ol' Man can no longer digest his feed. And after years of treating his laminitis, Pretty Boy can no longer walk.

Tonight, as I cry... as my mother cries... as my father holds back the sorrow we know he feels. Our friends will bask under a perfect starlit sky with fields of sweet clover as far as their eyes can see. They will run without the pain that years of hard work brought them. They will kick up their heels and frolick together like they once did in their long forgotten youth. And though it's hard to see them go, we have the solice of knowing they went peacefully together, side by side, just as they had been for the last 15 years. They'd have both been lost without the other. And now their pain is over. Read more ...

What I've been doing this evening...

If you'd like to see my whole list visit my other blog. But seriously, I deserve bonus points for accomplishing this one:

• I'm in the process of bleaching the coffee pot.
• Granted, my coffee pot has only been used a handful of times... however, the last time my mother was here, she made her morning coffee before she left.
• Kindly, she left me coffee.
• Unfortunately, I forgot about it until one day the coffee pot actually growled as I passed by it.
• Being one of a weak stomach, I decided it would be better to let the creature die of starvation before I tackled it.
• Because frankly... coffee pots are CHEAP!!
• Besides... corpses are easier to dispose of than live kicking, biting, possibly toxic creatures!!
• Now the creature is DEAD and I'm trying to salvage the pot so Mom & Dad can have coffee when they get here.
• Oh don't groan... I've seen my mother clean up a coffee pot far worse than this one was.
• And though I never wanted to drink coffee from it, it never seemed to phase her one bit!

Okay, maybe I don't get bonus points becase it's my own stinking fault it mutated in the first place. But seriously... I cleaned it. I didn't just wait for the Queen to come rescue it. I actually cleaned it!! You don't even have a clue...

Read more ...

My New Stalkee

In my blog surfing tonight I discovered this

Oh yes... all Fairy Tale Princesses are perfect... I am definately no Mary Fucking Poppins. However, I have aspirations of Martha Stewartism... that is, if you can picture Martha Stewart with a toddling Ogre attached to one hip, a cigarette in the other, walking naked through her 2 bedroom apartment looking for a "Dink Dink" that the couch probably ate!

But seriously. I look at the stacks of papers, the ebb and flow of the kitchen disaster, and the laundry that reproduces in the hallway and wish we could find a better way to stay neat.

I've taken steps... seriously. I make it a point to clean up before bed. Unfortunately, since that usually requires the Ogre Child to be unconscious, I'm usually sapped by that point and the extent of the cleaning amounts to picking up after the hurricane that is my child. Most of the time, I get the benefit of at least waking up to a clean (probably unvaccumed) living room.

However, this is simply not enough!

I want more!

I want to corral the papers, have a sparkling bathroom, be able to use my kitchen counters ANYTIME (not just after one of us has slaved in the kitchen for hours to clean it).

And yes, I've surfed all the organizing/tackle clutter/get clean sites known to man. I've sat down, made lists, organized calendars... but what happens? The lists get lost... the schedule gets tossed to the curb after an exhausting day... and the mess piles up on us once again!

So... after much surfing of the site, I'm adding this blog to my blog roll... because there is one consistant in my life right now (aside from work, Motherhood, etc.) and that is... checking blogs. So I'm thinking, if I were to randomly stumble across these ideas at moments when I'm caught off guard... I might be more likely to find myself in a mood to DO, and less likely to spend time looking up the perfect technique while in the mood to ASPIRE.

So make sure you check out Prohomaker for a little clutter control this week!

Now, I'm off to watch AVP2 and by the time it's through it should be time for bed.

FYI: Forgive the typos tonight, it's a combination of my hand and my keyboard both tripping up at the same time. I did my best, but I'm not going to nit pick on the issue! Read more ...

Mass Comment Response

So... I've had so many new visitors this month, I thought I needed to devote an entire post just to them. I'm pretty good about making sure to add my commenters to the blog roll. And I try really hard to go back and leave a comment... but things don't always work out as planned. So I've gone through them all and I'm going to cover my bases here.

Of course my top commenter is always the Queen. It's just because she knows how genetically fabulous I am. Not to mention how many of my father's genes I've had to overcome!!!

HOWEVER... I must say, with her quick responses, I do believe that Farmer*s Wife is sweeping in for a hostile takeover for the lead. She's vicious and selfish like that. And frankly, one of these two goof balls really needs to teach me how to do the strike through thing because I would SOOOO use it bunches!!

And now... in no particular order...

• Mr. Lady - Hope you tried the meatloaf... it's well worth it!
• Veronica - I miss you but I'm too lazy to get on a forum... come visit my castle!!
• Catherine - Sure... it's not a hoax? Right... I'm still waiting for the brave one's to try it for me!
• Chris - CONGRATULATIONS!! You'll make an AWESOME grandma!! And Grandma's are sexy in this day and age!!
• TT - Yes dear, I teach... therefore I drink! As for the RLS, going to talk to Doc about it on the 4th b/c it's been really bugging me (at least hat's what I think it is)
• ff - Flipping Fabulous!! That should be your new username!
• Granny Nanny - Thanks for the cookies!
• Kelly Dawn - Seriously, keep the whole wasting time at work thing a secret... they'll ban me!
• J... - Yeah, I can't figure out why th Sorority girls always looked at us funny. It's not like we were running down the halls quoting random movies or lyrics. Should have seen the look on my RN's face when I answered the door in full clad gothic makeup. Priceless!!
• ria - Your blog is just the cuteness!
• Celtic Buffy - CLOWNS R SCARY!! Totally forbidden in my house!!
• Dana - Thanks a million!!
• Corky - Of course I'm up late... it's called insomnia. I'll mail you a calculator for Christmas ;)

And this successfully revealed that I'd forgotten to add Kelly & Catherine to the blog roll... my super duper appologies... I believe it is now fixed.

Have a WONDERFUL SUNDAY!!

Princess Ogre Child is demanding that it is now bedtime!! We'll see how long this process takes!!

Read more ...

A Lesson for FW #1: Making Awards

Since she's whining and begging and worse than that... accusing me of hording the talent... I figure I'll give this "teaching" thing a try. I'm warning you though... I'm not a very good teacher. However, since I learned to do screen shots, it might be a little easier.

So first, I'll teach you the HARD way to make an award. It IS harder, but you have more options for creativity. After that, I'll give you the easy (cheaters!) way of doing it!!

MAKING AN AWARD:
What you'll need:

• Basic Paint Program
• A Picture you want to use for the award
• Time
• Patience
• Some simple math skills

STEP 1:

Copy the picture you want to use into a paint program. Size doesn't matter because we're going to fix that in the next couple of steps. Better it is too big than too small. So here's my copied photo.

STEP 2:

Now for the size. Most pictures aren't made for sidebars, but it's really easy to fix. When making sidebar tems, I usually want them about 150 pixels wide to guarantee a fit. If you want them bigger or smaller that's just fine... you basically just play around with the numbers until you find the ideal width.

To find the pixel width of the picture you are using place your cursor on the far right side of the picture (red "x") and look in the bottom right corner of the status bar for the location.

If you don't see these numbers it probably means your status bar isn't visible. To fix that, go to the view menu and check "Status Bar".

STEP 3:

There's a really easy math problem that will help yo figure exactly how much you need to shrink your picture to fit. Of course, you can always do the trial and error method... but this really isn't difficult so don't panic.

All you have to do is take the (pixel width you need) and divide it by the (pixel width you have) then multiply by 100.

So in this case... I need (150p) and I have (299p). Therefore... 150/299= .50 multiply by 100 for 50%.

STEP 4:

Now that we know the percent we need... it's just a matter of shrinking. To do that you go to the Image menu and use the "Stretch/Skew" option.

When it opens, simply enter the percent you found in STEP 3. Make sure to enter it into both the width and the height so you don't lose the dimensions of the picture.

We now have our picture the right size for a sidebar.

STEP 5

This is really an optional step. If you are happy with the look of your image, you can go on to step 7 and add your text. However, if you want to do some fine tuning to your image, it's easier if you zoom in.

When you've zoomed in, you can change colors, adjust your crop, add borders, etc.

On this one, I want to get rid of the white border and change the height of the picture.

First, I selected the whole image (CTRL+A) and moved it up on the screen to crop out the extra at the top.

Next, I filled in the white border with the orange color that matches the image.

Then, I slid the bottom of the image square up. There are little size adjusters in the exact middle of the drawing screen to let you do this... I forgot to circle them on this image for you, but you can see the little dots at the midpoints. Just drag and drop them where you want on the image.

On this picture, I had my width set where I wanted it already, so rather than dragging the right side in, I selected the whole image again and slid it to the right.

STEP 6

Once you've got the background image "perfect" you'll have to zoom back out to add text.

STEP 7

Use the text option to add you text.

In your picture click where you want the text to start and drag to make a text box. Once this box is made, you will not be able to move your text unless you have a solid background. Threfore, if you make a mistake, you will have to UNDO the text box and try again. You can do some fine adjusting using the spacebar, but it's limited.

After you insert your text box, you're going to want to open the text tools so you can change sizes and fonts. Click the View menu and check Text Toolbar.

It will pop up in a small screen that you can move where you want.

Next, I always type in a word and adjust my colors using the pallet at the bottom. Once I've decided on a color, I adjust to a font size about 10 or 12 until I'm sure my text will fit. Now I type my text.

Once I've typed all I want, then I start scrolling through fonts until I find the one that looks best. You can also adjust the font size again if you want. If you need to make your text box wider, you can use the size adjusters on the box to do that as well.

Now, in this case, I did not want the solid colored background on my text (it may be hard to see because it's orange, but the image is not showing through) To fix this, simply click the "opaque" button on the very bottom of the tools.

STEP 8:

Your award is officially finished and all you have to do is save it.

--------------------------------------------------------

Now you want the easy way? You want to cheat? Want to make cool personalized awards without breaking a sweat? Since I'm a very generous teacher, I'll fill you in on the secret.

Just go here

Image Chef

It's easy... just pick the template you want... upload a picture if it's an option... type your text, adjust your colors... right click and save the final picture. TADA!!!

If you completed this lesson... you can check below for your award!!!

Read more ...