Okay... did you read it? Good. Now you will understand my rant.
Kids can be Disney characters, Fairytale characters, Aminals, Plants, Etc.... and that's it?
They CANNOT be Superheros, ghosts, goblins, witches, devils, ninjas?
That being said... I'm going to give Jill (and anyone else who gets theses letters) a list of acceptable costumes for next year.
- Big Bad Wolf - Meets all of the required criteria... Disney, Fairy Tale, AND Animal... scary as hell though... imagine the crying preschoolers!!
- Captain Hook or any of the other pirates- If you wanted to pull off a "banned" pirate costume! (Also, any characters from Pirates of the Caribbean, or Blackbeard's Ghost)
- Chernabog - The scary ass demon from Fantasia!!
- Hades - The mythological equivilant to the DEVIL!!! and a Disney character. (Or there's always The Devil and Max Devlin)
- Maleficent - She's not really a witch... she's a "dark fairy" and "mistress of all evil"... and she turns into a dragon. BONUS!!
- Evil Queen (Snow White) - Again... not a witch... a QUEEN! (More Disney Witches: Bedknobs & Broomsticks; Hocus Pocus; Chronicles of Narnia)
- Sid Phillips (Toy Story) - If you want to pull off the whole "bad boy" or "semi-goth" costume!
- The caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland - don't forget to make a HOOKA for the costume!!
- Baby Herman (Who Framed Roger Rabbit) - CIGAR and all!!
- Jessica Rabbit - Need I elaborate?
- Merlin (Sword in the Stone) - In case wizards are banned.
- Rabid Dog (Old Yeller)
- Tarzan - make sure all you give the boy is a LOIN CLOTH!
- The Princess from Princess Diaries - I prefer recreating the scene where they catch her changing at the beach... just wrap the kid in a beach towel!
And see... I'm only dealing with the Disney portion of acceptable characters.
Fairytale really leaves it wide open. Anyone ever read a TRUE Grimm Brother's Fairy Tale... There is some SCARY SHIT in there!!
Let's take oh.... Cinderella...
the two false sisters came and wanted to get into favor with Cinderella and
share her good fortune. When the betrothed couple went to church, the elder was
at the right side and the younger at the left, and the pigeons pecked out one
eye from each of them. Afterwards as they came back the elder was at the left,
and the younger at the right, and then the pigeons pecked out the other eye from
each. And thus, for their wickedness and falsehood, they were punished with
blindness all their days.
Kindergarten class will never be the same after you send your child to class dressed like a beautiful princess... with her EYES PLUCKED OUT!!
Oh yes... fairy tale characters are PERFECTLY acceptable!! But no ninja's?
In addition to sending your child in one of these costumes... I propose the following suggestions:
- Claim to be affiliated with
and then complain about the religious infringment of allowing ANGEL costumes. Bonus for choosing a "pagan" religion.
- Insist that your family tree goes back to Salem and not allowing your child to express his heritage is wrong (Note: Yes, I realize "real" witches didn't wear goofy hats and stuff.)
- Propose that denying a ninja costume discriminates against those of Asian heritage!
- As a parent, come watch your child's Halloween Parade dressed in any costume on the list of forbidden costumes. Let them pick on someone their own size!!
- Demand to speak to your school board about why they are demoralizing our children by promoting "false" role models created by Disney... when they SHOULD be promoting real life heros like Policemen, Nurses, Doctors, Firemen, etc. (costumes that may not have been forbidden, but were definately not included on the acceptable list!!)
Have I mentioned that I have a pet peeve about SCHOOLS who step on the toes of GOOD parents because they are overcompensating for those who are BAD parents?
Have I mentioned that I have a pet peeve about SCHOOLS who step on a parent's "RIGHT TO MAKE CHOICES FOR THEIR CHILD" by forbidding mohawks, harmless costumes, and other ridiculous bullshit!!
Yes... I work for a school. And yes... my child will PROBABLY attend a public school. However, I do not agree with everything that schools (including the one I work for) do. And I'm certain, that when I am a parent, I will disagree with the school more often than I do now.
I'm not saying schools are bad... just that much like all things government these days they have some real serious CONTROL ISSUES! And I will admittedly blame the growing number of STUPID PARENTS... but I don't think we all deserve to be punished to compensate!Hope Jill can use some of these while she's stepping up to the plate on the whole school stuff. Go root for her!!