Monday, August 11, 2008

Dedication: Lady Tremaine

You remember Lady Tremaine right? Well, her online username is toga. Please note here that it's not that I don't like Lady Tremaine. Despite the whole Cinderella fiasco, Lady Tremaine is a real classy gal. It's just that the Real Life Lady Tremaine is nothing like what Disney portrays. (shocker, I know!)

First off, she's not nearly as nasty as they made her out to be. Damn the media anyway! They'll exaggerate anything to get the "story." In fact, the rumor in Fairy Tale Land is that Cinderella's kind of a spoiled little bitch anyway. And spiteful!! Not good Princess qualities if you ask me.

The Real Life Lady Tremaine is not nearly as chronically constipated. She loves her kids. She's a good mother. Sure, she might slip a cute Prince a Mickey so her kid can get a shot at him, but what mother doesn't want what's best for her children. Is that a crime? I think not!

I've gotta give it to Lady Tremaine because after Cinderella kicked her to the curb, she had to find some way to fund her adventures. Lady Tremaine now spends her days surrounded by the hectic life of child care. Oh don't FROWN like that! She's great at it!! She's got them scrubbing floors and washing windows. Teaching them all the necessary life skills that common-folk need to learn.

But at night, woohoo!! She's the life of the party!! My next big Princess Ball, Lady Tremaine will be right at the top of the guest list. I was recently introduced to a Vegas Bomb (Lady Tremaine's drink of choice) and let me tell you!! BOMB VEGAS HONEY!! They are DA BOMB!!!

Despite the fact that I don't believe the horrid stories about her and Cinderella, I must say that she DOES have a bit of an EVIL streak! My biggest vice about Lady Tremaine is that she is SO DAMN GOOD at the Gold Miner game!! Which wouldn't be a big deal if she didn't play at the same Royal Arcade that I do. I too love the game and only once have I been able to beat her high score. I should have been thrilled. I should have thrown a parade in honor of the feat!! Instead, the bitch beat my score within a couple of hours. Not only did she beat it... she blew it out of the water. So to console myself I had a couple of drunk peasants beheaded!!

On a side note, I have to say that I have never known anyone else to list scrambled eggs as their favorite food. That's got me scratching my head a bit. Lobster? Calamarri? Filet Mignon? No... I'll have splattered chicken abortions (bet that gets some interesting search results!) But I guess, to each their own. At least it isn't beets dipped in ranch like someone else I know (*gag*)

That being said, lets have a big round of applause for Lady Tremaine and lay off her would you. Don't believe everything you see in the movies or books!!

Myspace Images @ PimpMyCom

A Real Life Fairy Tale Princess


Veronica said...

chicken abortions....really? You are sick and twisted woman.

toga said...

HAHA, thanks so much (I think). Thats the only laugh i have had this week.I love being home alone and when I am i only cook for myself so chicken abortion sandwiches it is !!! Now after I conquer the demons i am facing this week I will try to get funny back at ya !!

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