Actually, if you really want to get technical, February is Spunk Old Broads Month! And in honor of the Spunky Old Broads (S.O.B.'s) in my life, I'm reminding you all that you should never underestimate the power of a Sassy Old Bitch with a mean right hook!
Love you Mom!!
Remind those ladies that we love them for their spunk, their wit, their downright silliness.
At ninety-three years old, I can still remember my great-grandmother coming out of her chair while watching the male figure skating. When Elvis ripped his shirt off, she yelled "Take off the pants!" and we all died laughing.
I know full well that she was sitting up there laughing on the day of her funeral. In the front row a five-year-old boy was trying to console his grandmother by patting her arm and asking if she was okay, though she clearly was. In the middle row, my aunt buried her face in embarrassment as her youngest stood up and applauded after the first hymn. And in the back row my cousin and I, home from college, were debating whether there would be a test over the events the minister recalled in her ninety-six years of life. To make matters even better, the funeral procession turned into a NASCAR race with my family rallying for position behind the casket as I sped down a back road and beat them all to the cemetery. At the gravesite, we had placed the flowers on the wrong grave. And to top it all off, the dinner that followed included a game of tag with players aging five to seventy and an entire street of car alarms going off at once as family members intentionally pushed the panic buttons on their keychains! I'm sure we made her proud that day!
Grandma's been gone for 10 years now, but I will always remember her as that Spunky Old Broad who would wrecked her first car, on ice, coming home from deer-hunting at ninety-two and demanded they get her car out of the ditch so she could see how much damage was done before she let them take her to the hospital! The same one who would wave hello to Mom and me before demanding that Dad take her 4-wheeling in the truck.
If I am so lucky as to live as long, I hope I have all the same spunk and charisma that she had right up until the end!
Daisy the Puppy
1 month ago