Thursday, January 22, 2009

No Name Calling Week (January 21st - 25th)

Well that's just not right!!

Some people really deserve a name or two!

You know... the rat bastard cousin who thinks that since she is an all knowing sophomore in high school she can tell you that you morals are squewed and you are a horrible parent.

Or the stubborn jackass of a grandfather who thought it would be okay to blow my family off and I'd just smile and play nice about it.

Or the craptastic piece of shit Uncle who thought it was perfectly acceptable to drive around on my father's plates and insurance while my Dad thought his vehicle was being repaired by another Uncle.

What about the worthless idiot who cannot park in a parking lot unless there are large neon markers indicating exactly how far from another vehicle you need to park in order to permit space for a vehicle between you.

And there's always the brain dead ignorant bobbleheads at the cable company who think after two months of my cable popping in and out, a dozen service calls in that time, and two no shows on their part, that I'm going to be okay with them raising my monthly rates $5 a month!

As I was saying... some people really do deserve a little name calling. It's the only thing that makes them closely resemble humans.

But in honor of No Name Calling Week... I'll try to refrain from calling anyone names... I personally think I'm off to a good start!

Hey... You! I don't want to call you a name so I'll just offer you a friendly suggestion. Try taking the dick out of your ear for two seconds and maybe you'll be able to hear me when I say, "Pass me the salt please!"

10 comments:

My Outside Voice said...

Where do you come up with this shit?

The Real Life Fairy Tale Princess said...

Did I forget to mention anyone in the list of people who deserve to be called names? Me thinks I did, but why give them the satisfaction of my fabulous linguistic skills? What a perfect day for me to invoke the "if you can't say something nice" policy. My tongue may fall off and start to bleed, but I'll keep telling myself it's all part of being a BETTER PERSON!
*puke*

Farmer*swife said...

You're a hoot!

My Outside Voice said...

yea,, some things just aren't worth worry about.. or getting too worked up over..the sun will still come up tomorrow..so what can ya say.

J... said...

Damn. Really? Shit. Well, I guess I failed horribly at this holiday because I am pretty sure that yesterday I called my boss some really not nice names. Wait! Maybe that was on Tuesday? Yay! I think I can handle this one. Maybe. Damn. I'm not even going to try.

Can you be a "better person" for both of us?

J... said...

When you do get back to calling people names, I came across this site that you really must take a look at! It'll get you laughing at least!

http://www.cheezus.com/mean/index.cfm

The Real Life Fairy Tale Princess said...

MOV - So true trure true

FW - You know I'm a few fries short of a Happymeal!

J - OMG *peed* You really shouldn't have given me that site. You know I am in constant need of original insults! I may just write me some nasty letters just because that website could be so much fun to use!! lmao

"sour-dicked spermlicker" ROTFLMAO!!!

J... said...

I was totally peeing myself too! And that is sooooo not good because I am sitting at work!

My Outside Voice said...

you so know I have to go look. I need something new for future references. You ladies are a very bad influence on a good christian girl like myself.

The Real Life Fairy Tale Princess said...

Oh you just wait J... I'll be experience withdrawl by the 26th... no doubt I'll have something good to say and it will all be your fault!! hehe

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