Monday, January 26, 2009

J... is a bad influence on me

J... should know better than to give me ammunition like this.
WARNING... this post will be rude, vulgar, and otherwise unpleasant... all complaints should be sent to J... since it's all her fault!!
I've been a really good girl but but the week is finally over. So now that I'm free to sling the shit around and call people the names they deserve to be called, I'm letting loose with my new ammunition! And it is some good shit!
Let the name calling commence...
  • I have a younger (ex)cousin who I'd like to refer to from here on out as a sissy-chinned nipple wiper! After a long conversation about how she told my mother to "burn in hell", it is clear to me that she went straight from her mother's tit to granny's! I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, and write her off as a confused young teenager. However, when the shit hit the fan and she informed me that I was a bad mother, she permanently earned her name.
  • Then there's the worthless yeast-limbed sausage gargler who thought it'd be funny to refer to my father as a "half-dead significant other". It takes a real snot-mouthed horse poacher to create a blog for the soul purpose of bashing my mother.
  • It's been a while, but bashing the ex-hubs and MIL-from-hell never gets old. All I can really say about them these days is that the tard-breasted turtle jockey should have drown the whiskey-spotted bacon goblin when he was born.
  • A good bashing wouldn't be complete if we didn't throw something in for the DNA provider. That pickle-lipped willy junkie ought to have his dick stapled to a cactus in the middle of Death Valley.
  • I'm sure there's some dirty-specked dung knockers that deserve to be mentioned for their inept behavior and general lack of intellegence.
  • And because I can't hold back anymore, there's the pudding-witted hosecake that pulled a hypocritical whinefest a while back.
  • Futhermore, my family tree happens to suggest that there's a needle-cunted mule guzzler lurking around stirring up some trouble.

So for all you wart-fingered dick jugglers this probably isn't the blog for you because I have no problem telling things exactly how it is. I have no skeletons in my closet and will gladly answer any question with complete honesty. I tell it how it is and I really don't care if you refuse to believe my point of view. You can go on being a twinkie-stained twat burgler for as long as you see fit.

As for the rest of you who faithfully stick around through all this vulgar nonsense. Thanks for letting me get caught up on the name calling. I was starting to have withdrawls.



CelticBuffy said...

Aw, come on. . . don't hold back. Tell us what you really think! ;)

Maybe I should fill you in on one of my back stories and let you loose on the "evil bitch" from my past life. She inspired my love of hate letters.

Granny Nanny said...

HAHA, Those are some well thought up names. I may have to borrow a few for my family too! Like the witch ex step -mother who fed my little brother all her meds beginning at age 2!

My Outside Voice said...

OSTB! I knew who each and every one of those names refered too... I knew if you had to stay quiet through "No Name Calling Week" Monday was gonna be a hoot....

tt said...

My,my, really need to get some help in expressing yourself.!
You seriously cracked me up. Next time I'm at a loss for words to describe something foul...I'll call ya!:)

J... said...

Great use of that website! My favorite was limp dick sperm licker. Loved that one!

J... said...

Oh yeah...I'm sooooo not a bad influence. Just gave you a creative outlet for you anger and your time.

You are very welcome. :)

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