Sunday, September 28, 2008

WANTED: Pacemaker

You know that wonderful bundle of Ogreness that terrorizes my house on a daily basis?

The one I knew was going to be a handful when she provoked an ultrasound at 6 weeks just because she wanted the world to be ready for her!!!

The same one who provoked another senseless ultrasound at 10 weeks because she didn't want anyone to hear her heartbeat!!!

Yeah... the one who gave the doctors a preeclampsia scare at 30 weeks, only to find it was a false alarm!!!

Yep... the same one who refused to drop at 38 weeks just so she could have another ultrasound picture!!

She's the one... the one who refused to show signs of progress after 12 hours of induction and pitocin . . . only to have my water break within 20 minutes of being told I might be sent home.

I think she was switched at conception!! She's really a doctor's child.
This week, we found out she's part of the 4% who get a rash from the chickenpox vaccine.

But I swear, tonight, I'd have given anything to have been her "real" mother with the skills and confidence of a doctor.

Because I don't care how many times you've recertified your CPR for "just in case," when it is your child on the couch not breathing in Febrile Seizure, there is nothing more helpless feeling.

Granted, I didn't know WHY my child was not breathing, or WHY she was having a seizure... but in the back of my head, I think I did, and still panicked.

Thank goodness for 9-1-1 dispatchers who can decipher the hysterical screaming of a mother. Thank goodness for local officers who can be knocking on your front door within 6 minutes of you dialing the phone. Thank goodness for First Responders who walk in a minute later. Thank goodness for co-workers who will beat the them all there by 30 seconds in their PJ's.

But mostly, thank goodness that my beautiful, baby girl is now repeatively turning my television on and off in the middle of the show I'm trying to watch. Thank goodness for her smile, her laugh, her hysterical screams when she finally came too surrounded by strange men (and women).

Thank goodness for whomever is watching over us.


Anonymous said...

And thank god for hair color,, because Grandma got even more gray hair last night...and now that it is all over.. I'm off to dye my hair blonde again..

Warn Orge Child that WHEN grandma sees her again...She is getting ten times as many loves as she is used to...

Warn Prince Charming.. she's pry getting toys now that haven't even been invented.. and if she wasn't the world's most spoiled grandchild before... she soon will be....

I'm just saying...she just keeps doing the whole miracle child thing... and scaring us... just to see our reaction...I SWEAR THAT'S IT...

Farmer*swife said...

Holy bleepville. My Lil'Gal stopped breathing on me -- while in play on our bed -- when she was an infant.

I'd had CPR; still? She came back too and then did it again shortly there after.

I was frantic to call DH and anyone I knew with medical experience while waiting for him to fly home to take us to the ER. [We live in the country.]

I spent the whole trip to the Hospital in the back of the SUV (DH drove) with a mirror to her nose to see her breaths.

She had severe reflux which added to sleep apnea. We had her on a monitor for months until she could out grow it. I'd sleep in the living room with her in her rocker crib and my eyes popping open every so often to double check the blinking light on the thing.

And, we flipped a few times some nights when the alarm would sound...GASP!

SO glad y'all are home and healthy!

The Real Life Fairy Tale Princess said...

qonml> I know, I think she's just a drama queen :) she likes the dr's so much she wants their undivided attention.

farmer*swife> I can hardly imagine. I lay in bed next to her forever this morning before I dared doze off. I knew she was fine, but I couldn't get it out of my head. Thanks for the comment!

Anonymous said...

Hope you got some rest and hope that her check up went well today.

I will say I felt much better after listening to her on the phone last night. That's the happiest and most active she's been in a long time...I slept well after listening and know she was really OK..

Love to both of you
Mom Mie

winterskibunny said...

Glad she is okay!!! Adding that to my list of why I never had kids.

I think I would stop breathing!!

I babysat a few times in high school, and I nearly died when the baby vomited straight up in the air in his crib! I was sure he was going to choke on his vomit.

The mother was quite calm when I called. Thank goodness.

I am certain that if I had a child stop breathing, they would never be out of arms distance again LOL. And that wouldn't be very good for the child.

Other stories have me sure that I would lock my teenage daughter OR son in the basement. I would be so afraid of the world vs them.

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