Disney Sponsors the Schools?

That's right... if you haven't read it yet... the first thing you need to do is read Jill's post about the school's Halloween party

Okay... did you read it? Good. Now you will understand my rant.

WTF?!?!?

Kids can be Disney characters, Fairytale characters, Aminals, Plants, Etc.... and that's it?

They CANNOT be Superheros, ghosts, goblins, witches, devils, ninjas?

That being said... I'm going to give Jill (and anyone else who gets theses letters) a list of acceptable costumes for next year.

• Big Bad Wolf - Meets all of the required criteria... Disney, Fairy Tale, AND Animal... scary as hell though... imagine the crying preschoolers!!
• Captain Hook or any of the other pirates- If you wanted to pull off a "banned" pirate costume! (Also, any characters from Pirates of the Caribbean, or Blackbeard's Ghost)
• Chernabog - The scary ass demon from Fantasia!!
• Hades - The mythological equivilant to the DEVIL!!! and a Disney character. (Or there's always The Devil and Max Devlin)
• Maleficent - She's not really a witch... she's a "dark fairy" and "mistress of all evil"... and she turns into a dragon. BONUS!!
• Evil Queen (Snow White) - Again... not a witch... a QUEEN! (More Disney Witches: Bedknobs & Broomsticks; Hocus Pocus; Chronicles of Narnia)
• Sid Phillips (Toy Story) - If you want to pull off the whole "bad boy" or "semi-goth" costume!
• The caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland - don't forget to make a HOOKA for the costume!!
• Baby Herman (Who Framed Roger Rabbit) - CIGAR and all!!
• Jessica Rabbit - Need I elaborate?
• Merlin (Sword in the Stone) - In case wizards are banned.
• Rabid Dog (Old Yeller)
• Tarzan - make sure all you give the boy is a LOIN CLOTH!
• The Princess from Princess Diaries - I prefer recreating the scene where they catch her changing at the beach... just wrap the kid in a beach towel!

And see... I'm only dealing with the Disney portion of acceptable characters.

Fairytale really leaves it wide open. Anyone ever read a TRUE Grimm Brother's Fairy Tale... There is some SCARY SHIT in there!!

Let's take oh.... Cinderella...

the two false sisters came and wanted to get into favor with Cinderella and
share her good fortune. When the betrothed couple went to church, the elder was
at the right side and the younger at the left, and the pigeons pecked out one
eye from each of them. Afterwards as they came back the elder was at the left,
and the younger at the right, and then the pigeons pecked out the other eye from
each. And thus, for their wickedness and falsehood, they were punished with
blindness all their days.

Kindergarten class will never be the same after you send your child to class dressed like a beautiful princess... with her EYES PLUCKED OUT!!

Oh yes... fairy tale characters are PERFECTLY acceptable!! But no ninja's?

In addition to sending your child in one of these costumes... I propose the following suggestions:

• Claim to be affiliated with and then complain about the religious infringment of allowing ANGEL costumes. Bonus for choosing a "pagan" religion.
• Insist that your family tree goes back to Salem and not allowing your child to express his heritage is wrong (Note: Yes, I realize "real" witches didn't wear goofy hats and stuff.)
• Propose that denying a ninja costume discriminates against those of Asian heritage!
• As a parent, come watch your child's Halloween Parade dressed in any costume on the list of forbidden costumes. Let them pick on someone their own size!!
• Demand to speak to your school board about why they are demoralizing our children by promoting "false" role models created by Disney... when they SHOULD be promoting real life heros like Policemen, Nurses, Doctors, Firemen, etc. (costumes that may not have been forbidden, but were definately not included on the acceptable list!!)

Have I mentioned that I have a pet peeve about SCHOOLS who step on the toes of GOOD parents because they are overcompensating for those who are BAD parents?

Have I mentioned that I have a pet peeve about SCHOOLS who step on a parent's "RIGHT TO MAKE CHOICES FOR THEIR CHILD" by forbidding mohawks, harmless costumes, and other ridiculous bullshit!!

Yes... I work for a school. And yes... my child will PROBABLY attend a public school. However, I do not agree with everything that schools (including the one I work for) do. And I'm certain, that when I am a parent, I will disagree with the school more often than I do now.

I'm not saying schools are bad... just that much like all things government these days they have some real serious CONTROL ISSUES! And I will admittedly blame the growing number of STUPID PARENTS... but I don't think we all deserve to be punished to compensate!

Hope Jill can use some of these while she's stepping up to the plate on the whole school stuff. Go root for her!! Read more ...

Happy Early Birthday Present to Me

"The third season of Big Love will premiere on January 11, 2009"

Way early!! Read more ...

Okay... you better clean your guest room!

Okay... listen up bloggies!! One of you lives near enough to Corpus Christie to show up from there. I think I can guess who it is. And I'm just saying... you better be cleaning up your guest room because a) winter is knocking on the door b) I need a good vacation c) the biggest body of water I've ever seen was Lake Michigan d) I have a really CUTE swimsuit e) Ogre Child loves swimming and f) gas prices are low enough to drive there!!

I'm telling you right now, we spent last winter without electricity for 10 days and I'm so not staying with the in-laws again... I'll pack up the car and drive south until I see your house!!

All I ask for is a warm shower and a little sunshine... and coffee. Read more ...

You've Gotta Participate!

So, I'm all about freebies!! And coupons!!!

Unfortunately there are tons of sites out there that are just B.S.

THIS is not one of them.

I signed up (maybe a couple weeks ago) with vocalpoint and...

this week I recieved

• a Gillette Venus Embrace razor to sample. It also came with five coupons for $4 off the razor to give to friends.
• a brochure about StarKist Tuna Creations and their flavors. This came with a Buy One Get One Free coupon on a StarKist Creations or StarKist Pouch. Again, came with 4 addition brochures to share with friends (or buy more tuna... lol)

So honestly, if you're in to that sort of stuff give it a shot. They might never send me anything else... but they are genuine. There's also coupons available on their site (this week it's $2 off the Kashi granola bars).

Happy Wednesday... I'll let you know if the razor's worth it or not when I get up the ambition to actually shave my legs!!

FYI: Queen... this might be something to jump start your other blog!!

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I shouldn't be shocked

Some of google's top search terms this month... (FYI: Yes, I'm very bored!)

Oct 6 - #14: bird is the word
Oct 7 - #1: Walk softly and carry a big stick
Oct 8 - #17: Sad guys on the trading floor
Oct 9 - #3: creepy gay kid happy birthday
Oct 15 - #2: litmus test... #18: LIPNESS test
Oct 18 - #7: Deep fried Pepsi

Oct 20 - #1:
hummingbird sex position

Oct 22 - #1: I hate your guts Jim Norton
Oct 23 - #11: Domino surgery
Oct 24 - #15: hit a jew day
Oct 28 - #1: dirt nasty
Oct 29 - #64: ten inch hero

I desperately want to know what was going on October 20th... that's just disturbing!!! Read more ...

Goodnight Sweet Boys (tear-factor)

Two dear friends are gone this evening.

Some girls get an Easter Bunny... I got a horse.

You can say, "It's just a horse," and maybe in your eyes that's all they are. But for a rancher, a horse is a friend. A horse can save a million man hours. A horse can bring the cows home out of canyons a man can't dream to walk and the best 4-wheel-drive can't conquer. A horse will brave the heat with you, weather the humidity with you, work the whole day long with you. All because you asked him to. A horse will be a friend to walk the hills to nowhere for no particular reason except to see what might be over the next ridge. A horse is the one creature on a ranch who has earned every right to die on the place because only a horse will log as many working hours as a man will.

Our horses have been retired for years now. Just a couple of ol' hay burners who've logged their hours and earned their right.

That Ol' Man loved my Dad enough to take the hit the bull had meant for Dad. And that Ol' Man loved my Pretty Boy enough to stand by his side after the lightening strike that crippled them. And my Pretty Boy loved Ol' Man enough to stay with him through all the cold winter snows when his legs were stiff with arthritis. And they both loved home enough to gallop all the way to their corrals when they were 'kidnapped' for a week.

We loved them both enough to offer up every luxury we could to try and see them live long happy lives. And they both have. They have ran free in green pastures long past their prime.

Today we had let them go. At 28, the Ol' Man can no longer digest his feed. And after years of treating his laminitis, Pretty Boy can no longer walk.

Tonight, as I cry... as my mother cries... as my father holds back the sorrow we know he feels. Our friends will bask under a perfect starlit sky with fields of sweet clover as far as their eyes can see. They will run without the pain that years of hard work brought them. They will kick up their heels and frolick together like they once did in their long forgotten youth. And though it's hard to see them go, we have the solice of knowing they went peacefully together, side by side, just as they had been for the last 15 years. They'd have both been lost without the other. And now their pain is over. Read more ...

What I've been doing this evening...

If you'd like to see my whole list visit my other blog. But seriously, I deserve bonus points for accomplishing this one:

• I'm in the process of bleaching the coffee pot.
• Granted, my coffee pot has only been used a handful of times... however, the last time my mother was here, she made her morning coffee before she left.
• Kindly, she left me coffee.
• Unfortunately, I forgot about it until one day the coffee pot actually growled as I passed by it.
• Being one of a weak stomach, I decided it would be better to let the creature die of starvation before I tackled it.
• Because frankly... coffee pots are CHEAP!!
• Besides... corpses are easier to dispose of than live kicking, biting, possibly toxic creatures!!
• Now the creature is DEAD and I'm trying to salvage the pot so Mom & Dad can have coffee when they get here.
• Oh don't groan... I've seen my mother clean up a coffee pot far worse than this one was.
• And though I never wanted to drink coffee from it, it never seemed to phase her one bit!

Okay, maybe I don't get bonus points becase it's my own stinking fault it mutated in the first place. But seriously... I cleaned it. I didn't just wait for the Queen to come rescue it. I actually cleaned it!! You don't even have a clue...

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My New Stalkee

In my blog surfing tonight I discovered this

Oh yes... all Fairy Tale Princesses are perfect... I am definately no Mary Fucking Poppins. However, I have aspirations of Martha Stewartism... that is, if you can picture Martha Stewart with a toddling Ogre attached to one hip, a cigarette in the other, walking naked through her 2 bedroom apartment looking for a "Dink Dink" that the couch probably ate!

But seriously. I look at the stacks of papers, the ebb and flow of the kitchen disaster, and the laundry that reproduces in the hallway and wish we could find a better way to stay neat.

I've taken steps... seriously. I make it a point to clean up before bed. Unfortunately, since that usually requires the Ogre Child to be unconscious, I'm usually sapped by that point and the extent of the cleaning amounts to picking up after the hurricane that is my child. Most of the time, I get the benefit of at least waking up to a clean (probably unvaccumed) living room.

However, this is simply not enough!

I want more!

I want to corral the papers, have a sparkling bathroom, be able to use my kitchen counters ANYTIME (not just after one of us has slaved in the kitchen for hours to clean it).

And yes, I've surfed all the organizing/tackle clutter/get clean sites known to man. I've sat down, made lists, organized calendars... but what happens? The lists get lost... the schedule gets tossed to the curb after an exhausting day... and the mess piles up on us once again!

So... after much surfing of the site, I'm adding this blog to my blog roll... because there is one consistant in my life right now (aside from work, Motherhood, etc.) and that is... checking blogs. So I'm thinking, if I were to randomly stumble across these ideas at moments when I'm caught off guard... I might be more likely to find myself in a mood to DO, and less likely to spend time looking up the perfect technique while in the mood to ASPIRE.

So make sure you check out Prohomaker for a little clutter control this week!

Now, I'm off to watch AVP2 and by the time it's through it should be time for bed.

FYI: Forgive the typos tonight, it's a combination of my hand and my keyboard both tripping up at the same time. I did my best, but I'm not going to nit pick on the issue! Read more ...

Mass Comment Response

So... I've had so many new visitors this month, I thought I needed to devote an entire post just to them. I'm pretty good about making sure to add my commenters to the blog roll. And I try really hard to go back and leave a comment... but things don't always work out as planned. So I've gone through them all and I'm going to cover my bases here.

Of course my top commenter is always the Queen. It's just because she knows how genetically fabulous I am. Not to mention how many of my father's genes I've had to overcome!!!

HOWEVER... I must say, with her quick responses, I do believe that Farmer*s Wife is sweeping in for a hostile takeover for the lead. She's vicious and selfish like that. And frankly, one of these two goof balls really needs to teach me how to do the strike through thing because I would SOOOO use it bunches!!

And now... in no particular order...

• Mr. Lady - Hope you tried the meatloaf... it's well worth it!
• Veronica - I miss you but I'm too lazy to get on a forum... come visit my castle!!
• Catherine - Sure... it's not a hoax? Right... I'm still waiting for the brave one's to try it for me!
• Chris - CONGRATULATIONS!! You'll make an AWESOME grandma!! And Grandma's are sexy in this day and age!!
• TT - Yes dear, I teach... therefore I drink! As for the RLS, going to talk to Doc about it on the 4th b/c it's been really bugging me (at least hat's what I think it is)
• ff - Flipping Fabulous!! That should be your new username!
• Granny Nanny - Thanks for the cookies!
• Kelly Dawn - Seriously, keep the whole wasting time at work thing a secret... they'll ban me!
• J... - Yeah, I can't figure out why th Sorority girls always looked at us funny. It's not like we were running down the halls quoting random movies or lyrics. Should have seen the look on my RN's face when I answered the door in full clad gothic makeup. Priceless!!
• ria - Your blog is just the cuteness!
• Celtic Buffy - CLOWNS R SCARY!! Totally forbidden in my house!!
• Dana - Thanks a million!!
• Corky - Of course I'm up late... it's called insomnia. I'll mail you a calculator for Christmas ;)

And this successfully revealed that I'd forgotten to add Kelly & Catherine to the blog roll... my super duper appologies... I believe it is now fixed.

Have a WONDERFUL SUNDAY!!

Princess Ogre Child is demanding that it is now bedtime!! We'll see how long this process takes!!

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A Lesson for FW #1: Making Awards

Since she's whining and begging and worse than that... accusing me of hording the talent... I figure I'll give this "teaching" thing a try. I'm warning you though... I'm not a very good teacher. However, since I learned to do screen shots, it might be a little easier.

So first, I'll teach you the HARD way to make an award. It IS harder, but you have more options for creativity. After that, I'll give you the easy (cheaters!) way of doing it!!

MAKING AN AWARD:
What you'll need:

• Basic Paint Program
• A Picture you want to use for the award
• Time
• Patience
• Some simple math skills

STEP 1:

Copy the picture you want to use into a paint program. Size doesn't matter because we're going to fix that in the next couple of steps. Better it is too big than too small. So here's my copied photo.

STEP 2:

Now for the size. Most pictures aren't made for sidebars, but it's really easy to fix. When making sidebar tems, I usually want them about 150 pixels wide to guarantee a fit. If you want them bigger or smaller that's just fine... you basically just play around with the numbers until you find the ideal width.

To find the pixel width of the picture you are using place your cursor on the far right side of the picture (red "x") and look in the bottom right corner of the status bar for the location.

If you don't see these numbers it probably means your status bar isn't visible. To fix that, go to the view menu and check "Status Bar".

STEP 3:

There's a really easy math problem that will help yo figure exactly how much you need to shrink your picture to fit. Of course, you can always do the trial and error method... but this really isn't difficult so don't panic.

All you have to do is take the (pixel width you need) and divide it by the (pixel width you have) then multiply by 100.

So in this case... I need (150p) and I have (299p). Therefore... 150/299= .50 multiply by 100 for 50%.

STEP 4:

Now that we know the percent we need... it's just a matter of shrinking. To do that you go to the Image menu and use the "Stretch/Skew" option.

When it opens, simply enter the percent you found in STEP 3. Make sure to enter it into both the width and the height so you don't lose the dimensions of the picture.

We now have our picture the right size for a sidebar.

STEP 5

This is really an optional step. If you are happy with the look of your image, you can go on to step 7 and add your text. However, if you want to do some fine tuning to your image, it's easier if you zoom in.

When you've zoomed in, you can change colors, adjust your crop, add borders, etc.

On this one, I want to get rid of the white border and change the height of the picture.

First, I selected the whole image (CTRL+A) and moved it up on the screen to crop out the extra at the top.

Next, I filled in the white border with the orange color that matches the image.

Then, I slid the bottom of the image square up. There are little size adjusters in the exact middle of the drawing screen to let you do this... I forgot to circle them on this image for you, but you can see the little dots at the midpoints. Just drag and drop them where you want on the image.

On this picture, I had my width set where I wanted it already, so rather than dragging the right side in, I selected the whole image again and slid it to the right.

STEP 6

Once you've got the background image "perfect" you'll have to zoom back out to add text.

STEP 7

Use the text option to add you text.

In your picture click where you want the text to start and drag to make a text box. Once this box is made, you will not be able to move your text unless you have a solid background. Threfore, if you make a mistake, you will have to UNDO the text box and try again. You can do some fine adjusting using the spacebar, but it's limited.

After you insert your text box, you're going to want to open the text tools so you can change sizes and fonts. Click the View menu and check Text Toolbar.

It will pop up in a small screen that you can move where you want.

Next, I always type in a word and adjust my colors using the pallet at the bottom. Once I've decided on a color, I adjust to a font size about 10 or 12 until I'm sure my text will fit. Now I type my text.

Once I've typed all I want, then I start scrolling through fonts until I find the one that looks best. You can also adjust the font size again if you want. If you need to make your text box wider, you can use the size adjusters on the box to do that as well.

Now, in this case, I did not want the solid colored background on my text (it may be hard to see because it's orange, but the image is not showing through) To fix this, simply click the "opaque" button on the very bottom of the tools.

STEP 8:

Your award is officially finished and all you have to do is save it.

--------------------------------------------------------

Now you want the easy way? You want to cheat? Want to make cool personalized awards without breaking a sweat? Since I'm a very generous teacher, I'll fill you in on the secret.

Just go here

Image Chef

It's easy... just pick the template you want... upload a picture if it's an option... type your text, adjust your colors... right click and save the final picture. TADA!!!

If you completed this lesson... you can check below for your award!!!

Read more ...

Awards for Lesson #1

If you did it the HARD way...

and because I know some of you just can't handle the stress...

If you CHEATED...

Read more ...

Those 50 Fabulous States!!

In keeping with my mother's travels, I've decided to add a little badge for Kansas. Anyone who is participating in Queen's 50 States is welcome to add my "postcards" to their site! If you use the HTML codes, your postcard will link you back to Queen's origal post.

I'll be making some for the states I visit... and you will be welcome to those as well... however, if you have a set of SPECIFICS you just HAVE to HAVE for YOUR postcard... leave me a message & I'll see what I can do.


<a href="http://queenofnomansland.blogspot.com/2008/10/im-taking-trip-across-usa.html"><br /><br /><img src="http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i69/elocin80/Sunflowersign.jpg" align="center" /> </a>


<a href="http://queenofnomansland.blogspot.com/2008/10/im-taking-trip-across-usa.html"><br /><br /><img src="http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i69/elocin80/Kansas2thin.jpg" align="center" /> </a>


<a href="http://queenofnomansland.blogspot.com/2008/10/im-taking-trip-across-usa.html"><br /><br /><img src="http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i69/elocin80/Kansasthin.jpg" align="center" /> </a> Read more ...

Join the POETS Society!!

Clearly, Farmer*s Wife is far too excited about the whole Friday Poets Club!! Next time I have a "pending" sign, I'll make sure it's
BIG
and
YELLOW
and says...

"Do you know what I'm going to say?"...

LOL

----------------------------------------

Anyway, I'm totally stealing this from my RL friend. I think it needs to be part of Blogland!!

The POETS Society is all about

Piss
On
Everything
Tomorrow's
Saturday

In other words... maybe you will post on Friday... or maybe you will just put up a sign saying I'm a member of the POETS Society! Or maybe, you'll tell us all about how you blew off everything and called it an early weekend... it doesn't matter what you do. It's Friday!!

Go home, lock the children in the closet, crack open the wine bottle, and when your significant other asks, "What's for dinner?"
Just say, "POETRY!"
(Piss On Everything Today, Reheat Yesterdays!)

--------------------------------------------------

Feel free to save & link the images or simply copy the HTML codes I provided :)

<a href="http://onemorefairytale.blogspot.com/2008/10/join-poets-society.html"><br /><br /><img src="http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i69/elocin80/POETS-sm.jpg" align="center" /> </a>

This one is too big for MY sidebars, but if you have larger sidebars than me, you're more than welcome to use it!

<a href="http://onemorefairytale.blogspot.com/2008/10/join-poets-society.html"><br /><br /><img src="http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i69/elocin80/POETS.jpg" align="center" /> </a>

P.S. Learning "Code boxes" was my new trick today!! WOOHOO for me!!

Read more ...

And the Award goes to...

As promised, here's your award for reading all 100 things.

So far, the award goes to the following

Granny Nanny - Mail cocoa mix... I'm out!!

tt - Of course I did. Did you really read all those things and question whether I went shopping in slippers? Surely there were more unbelievable things listed!

queen - I believe it was the one we were all a BAD INFLUENCE on because we all know she wasn't acting out just to get the attention of her parents!

Kelly - shhh... don't tell people we waste time at work hanging ut on blogger, they'll get a program to block the website and then we'll all be committed to a mental hospital!

Read more ...

HNT: As Risque as I get

Inspired by bezbe (I wish my skin looked as perfect as hers!)

The human body is an amazing thing. Beautiful beyond belief. It is not uncommon for me to trapse around my house half-naked. Heck, I've been tempted to answer my front door in my underwear (especially when the landlord brings those state people by for manditory inspections... Just once I'd like to see the look on their faces... it's not like you can say I'm violating my lease by being naked in my own home!... LMAO... this idea really tickles me! Can you just imagine?)

Anyway, while I do not want to see my body pasted all over the internet, I have no problem with those who are comfortable with that. I do however have a general vision of what is classy vs. tacky nudity. I have no urge to see pictures of the nasty or a stranger's nether regions. However, the form, curve, line, and beauty of the body are artistic to me.

Therefor, in celebration of Half-Nekked Thursday, I'll participate just once.

Nothing obscene, just an artistic reminder that though stretch marks have ravaged this body it is still beautiful.

Hope no one is offended... but then again, if you are, you probably will be again so better you know up front!!

"I would rather be loved for what I am, than hated for something you imagine me to be."

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How Scared are you?

Having just read MSoSanity... I thought this was a good theme before Halloween. Who knows, there may be enough material here for a series of posts because I'm not nearly as PC as she is... I have no problem making fun of ridiculously scary things... why? Because I have a ridiculous phobia and all my "friends" make fun of me for it... (notice the quotations? That's because when they are poking fun of me... I use the term very lightly!! Damn Stepford Wives anyway!!)

So here we go... IRRATIONAL PHOBIAS!!

• Ablutophobia - fear of washing or bathing... GROSS!!
• Acousticophobia - fear of noise... and how does this one work?
• Alliumphobia - fear of garlic... are you a vampire?
• Allodoxaphobia - fear of opinions... are you a politician?
• Amathophobia - fear of dust... I sense a B-rated horror movie in the making!!
• Ambulophobia - fear of walking... I uffer from this when I've had too many to drink!
• Anablephobia - fear of looking up... Hello Chicken Little!!
• Arithmophobia - fear of numbers... do you get your bank statements written in Roman Numerals?
• Asymmetriphobia - fear of asymetrical things... I'm truely trying to figure out how you avoid this one. WOW!!
• Aulophobia - fear of flutes... I'm picturing a terrible band accident in your past!
• Aurophoboa - fear of gold... seriously?
• Autodysomophobia - fear of one that has a vile odor... see the first listed. Clearly not an eHarmony match!
• Automatonophobia - fear of ventriloquist's dummies, etc.... Two words... Je-fa-fa DUN-HAM!!

And that's just the letter "A"

As for me? My phobia falls in the category of the letter "C" for fuck you I even hate typing the word and Halloween is a horrible horrible holiday designed to torment me and I hate my co-workers because they think it is absolutely hilarious that they all dressed in these costumes for work last year just to see me cry like a baby and then they made me take a picture with them and I cried like a big ass baby!!

What do you mean you still don't know what I'm afraid of?

That wasn't clear enough for you?

Fine... jackass... "Hi. My name is Princess and I'm afraid of c...clll....clll... clow.... CLOWNS!! FUCKING CLOWNS!!"

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to call my therapist so if you all get messages on your blogs telling you about a mysterious bill you have with Dr. Crackpot, know that I told him to bill my friends for this relapse episode!!

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100 Things

So I'm totally lazy tonight... but bored... so I'm stealing this from bezbe to appease all my internet stalkers!

1. I'm blogging naked (too much? sorry!)
2. I eat yogurt and granola every night
3. I have more stuffed animals than my daughter
4. I've ridden a bucking bull in a rodeo
5. I did NOT last 8 seconds
6. It hurt like hell!
7. I'm an only child
8. I have a sister who is 36 and a brother who is 3!
9. My father's ancestors traveled the Mormon trail with Brigham Young (this is cool even if I'm not Mormon)
10. My mother's ancestors lived in Illinois & Missouri at the time when Mormons were persecuted and Joseph Smith was murdered! (this is also cool and has the potential for soooo much irony!)
11. My great-great-grandfather had 3 wives and 25 children!!
12. I haven't spoken to my Mother's parents since before my daughter was born.
13. They've never held their great-granddaughter because they can't say "I'm sorry"
14. I think my Dad is the coolest man on Earth (sorry Prince Charming!)
15. My Dad is NOT my father... he's way more!
16. I think my Mom is the coolest woman on Earth (sorry ladies... she's got it hands down!)
17. I got a refrigerator box for Christmas when I was 19
18. The only thing I took from my marriage was a couch (and he still bitched about it)
19. I only drink coffee at work
20. I make endless lists and then lose them
21. I find the lists later and can't remember why I made them
22. I sort my crayons by color (and get obsessive if they are out of order)
23. My DVD collection is alphabetized
24. I hate anything grape
25. I had all the She-Ra dolls growing up
26. I took wood shop in Middle School
27. In college, I would skip my morning art class and do the projects in the art lab at 2 am.
28. I've been part of a seance
29. I'm afraid of Ouija boards
30. I've played hide and seek in a cemetary
31. I've drag raced in a funeral procession
32. I used to leave cigarettes at my friend's grave
33. I screamed every cuss word in the book about a substitute teacher and didn't get so much as a detention
34. At lunch I eat black olives with creamy Italian dressing almost every day
35. I've ordered a rum & coke, light on the rum. (I drink for taste and the bartender was serving for SLOSHED!)
36. I've browsed the dictionary for pleasure.
37. Clowns are scary
38. My annual eye exam takes 2 hours (it's Thursday if you wanted to know)
39. I had the same doctor from birth until I was 23
40. I have 1 ovary (and she's very independant and refuses to sync with the Stepford Wives)
41. My medical records say I have colitis and I don't even know what it is!
42. My favorite food is Italian
43. I have no Italian ancestors
44. I have watched Gone With the Wind all the way through... more than once
45. I have seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
46. Sometimes I play country and hip hop back to back
47. I love cartoons
48. I'm scared of dentists
49. I pay for dental insurance
50. I don't have a dentist
51. I hate math
52. I'm a whiz at math
53. I love English class
54. I have terrible grammar
55. I wanted to be a vet when I grew up
56. I majored in Sociology
57. I can draw anything
58. I love antique books
59. I hate canned fruit
60. I hate cooking
61. I can cook
62. I hate when the laundry is folded wrong
63. I fold my towels like motels
64. I collect free samples for when my Mom visits
65. I love decorating for Christmas
66. I'm horrible about remembering birthdays
67. I'd love to be a foster parent someday
68. I'd love to do interior design
69. Or web page design
70. I can sing (or so I've been told)
71. I can make oragami cranes
72. I still talk to 3 ex boyfriends on Myspace
73. I'm a procrastinator
74. I can say my ABC's backwards... for real... really fast if you want!
75. I can't dance
76. I can program a VCR and hook up a surround sound
77. I got a horse for Easter!
78. I took hunter safety
79. I can't say 'polypropaline' (okay, I can, but it takes about 3 tries to get it right!)
80. After my Senior prom we stopped and washed our clothes in a laundry mat
81. The laundry mat had a huge picture window
82. It was one a main street in town
83. I once bought hair dye in Walmart, then drove to Shopko and dyed my hair in their bathroom, then drove to a gas station and washed the dye out in their water hose.
84. In college, I went shopping with hair dye in my hair. When my roommate realized we'd been out too long, she drug me into the nearest salon and begged to use their sink before she fried my hair.
85. I've been carded 3 times in one cigarette!
86. I put cocoa mix in my morning coffee
87. I used to deliver coffee and Stephen King novels to my friend every morning she was suspended from school.
88. I went to Chicago with NO PARENTS when I was 16!
89. I've gone grocery shopping in a bath robe and bunny slippers at 2 AM
90. I screamed "I was born with a WANG but I never had a NUT SACK!" while walking down the halls of my dorm (it's the lyrics to a song!)
91. I've slept on a polar bear hide
92. I dated a guy who wore more make up than me
93. I've trained a dog to climb a ladder
94. I played a terrorist in my High School play (they could never act out 'Softy' in this day and age)
95. I've eaten horse meat
96. I want my daughter to do some bad things just to drive Prince Charming's Mother nuts
97. Beer gives me a headache
98. I don't want to vote this year because I don't like either candidate
99. I think used to take pictures of my daughter every day
100. My daughter has 3 real cell phones and a dozen toy ones.

If you really read through all of these, you SOOO are more bored than I am!! Leave me a comment to PROVE you read them and I'll make you an award when I get some free time. I might not get them done tomorrow, but at least by Thursday!

Have a great tomorrow!! I'm off to bed (I hope)

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The Start of a Crappy Day

So this fabulous Tuesday should have started off wonderfully. Prince Charming had the night off so I should have gotten a good night's sleep. Instead... damn RLS had me tossing and turning until 4 AM. Along with a back ache, a head ache, and heart burn. I was just about to doze off in the wee early hours when Prince Charming started shifting in his sleep. Every time I'd get comfortable and hear the calls of dreamland, he'd shift and pull the blanket one inch too far. I have a super sensitive butt (I know that sounds bad) and the slightest draft is unacceptable. So I finally grabbed the afghan off the couch, took a couple of TUMS and settled in.

Despite that, I feel rather okay this morning. I made it to work on time and assessed the schedule. It should be a boring day since half of our students are gone on a field trip or general no-shows. HOWEVER... my favorite student is gone. That's right... I have a FAVORITE!! I promise, they still all get treated the same... it's just hard not to love this kid. Always has their work done and wanting more. Doesn't waste time or goof off in class. A generally good kid (though I like to think all my kids are good kids). Unfortunately, the kid got the short end of the stick when it came to foster care. Disgusted with the system doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about this situation. Apparently, last night they'd had enough and shipped her out. Granted, things happen at home that teachers are never priviledged to and kids act different in different environments, but you will NEVER convince me that this was a "bad kid". The experts can tell me I'm niave or that I got suckered into some ploy, but I'm not buying it!! If the good inside this kid was all just an act, it was damn consistant and geniune. BULLLLLLSHHHIIIITTT!! But hopefully, they'll find a better home for this kid. And I hope that all the love and caring is given to them that they deserve, because if someone will take the time to nurture the right things in this one, amazing things will happen!

That being said, I'm going to try to sit back and think about what it would be like to be QUEEN!! Stay tuned for more on that one! Read more ...

I'm a brain... actually this is like my 4th try!

67

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site48

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site

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Quiz

I could have told them this... feel free to check out some of them here.

You Should Be A Poet

You craft words well, in creative and unexpected ways. And you have a great talent for evoking beautiful imagery... Or describing the most intense heartbreak ever. You're already naturally a poet, even if you've never written a poem.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Of course I copied this from Buffy. Poetry is no shock because it fits into my procrastination scheme very well... poem finished in 5 minutes no need for follow up... lol.

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